I like to be a free spirit. Some don’t like that, but that’s the way I am — Princess Diana
Attractive people are the people who give us space to be who we are and make us feel at ease in their presence. Their personality is so authentic, they are never afraid to ask something they don’t know and never doubt to speak up their mind.
They are truly confident to be themselves regardless of what other people think of them. They are like magnets because they show other people the sign of strength to be just who they are and inspire others to do the same thing.
The more we know about them, the more we attract to them
Unfortunately, if you want to be attractive, you must go beyond just your appearance such as what dress you wear or what haircut you have. Though it still might help you to be attractive, but being truly attractive is really the way you behave.
Attractive people are defined as a quality of someone that tends to pull others in or create interest in others person. So instead of focusing on your appearance, you can start focusing on building your qualities.
The bad news is changing your appearance is easier than changing your behavior. But the good news is you can still change your behavior by following these habits of highly attractive people.
Read also: 10 qualities of smart people
1. They Say and Do What’s Right
Attractive people are the people who don’t give a shit about what other people think of their opinion. They will say what is right regardless of the other people like it or not.
They stand up for themselves not to win every conversation, but to say what they mean and if people feel disturb about it, well it is not their problem.
They are fine and accept criticized by others if they are wrong, but they are not okay if the other people don’t respect their boundary. They never mind to take out people who are toxic even their closest friends. Maybe these people seem rude, but they are not. It just shows their true character.
They won’t give their time to everyone but they will give it for a few people who deserve. It is easy for them to say no to other people and sometimes makes them being hated and respected at the same time. They have strong confident to be themselves and make others attract on them naturally.
“Staying silent is like a slow growing cancer to the soul and a trait of a true coward. There is nothing intelligent about not standing up for yourself. You may not win every battle. However, everyone will at least know what you stood for — YOU.”
— Shannon L. Alder
2. They Are Smart
They don’t know about everything but they are really smart in certain topics. They always learn something new every day to fulfill their curiosity and they don’t mind doing something unfamiliar even though it feels uncomfortable or scary.
These people never stop learning because they know life never stop teaching.
They have a really good self-control to react more calmly to disagreement. They use their head to deal with themselves and use their heart to deal with others.
They don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings, so they always seek to understand first before they seek to be understood. They don’t afraid to make mistakes because they know that’s how they learn and grow.
They know people are smart in their own way. Maybe some are smart at history and some are smart at philosophy. They don’t think in black and white, just because some people are bad at something it doesn’t mean they are bad at everything. They always put things in perspective to see the good in everyone.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
- Albert Einstein
3. They Speak Less and Listen More
What do you feel when someone isn’t listening to you because he is busy looking at his phone? Yes, it’s totally frustrating and it’s a sign of disrespect.
I remember it happened to me a couple months ago when I meet with my friend, I already listened to him attentionally but when my turn to speak, he ignored me because he focused more on his phone. Yes, it shows me that he was more interested to his phone than myself.
In contrast, attractive people will let you to express yourself and listen to you presently. If they don’t know what you mean, they will ask you more specifically. They will more focus on you than make it about them. They know the only way to have a deep connection with someone is to understand by listening more and speaking less.
Studies show that active listening increase social attractiveness and it makes other people feel heard and understood. This is a vital trait of attractive people.
These people think first before they speak and sometimes, they say nothing because they know in certain situations the best response is no response.
They have ability to let other people finish talking and repeat what others said. They make others feel important because they listen to understand the context beyond the words.
“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new”
- Dalai Lama
4. They Ask The Right Questions
Being interested in someone’s life by asking more questions than talking about yourself will make you more attractive. If you don’t know how to ask, you can use what is your conversation before as a basis to ask a relevant question.
The truth is most people like to talk about themselves and once you know the topic they are interested in, you will get a response in a positive manner from others.
Attractive people will ask the right question based on their skill of listening and understanding what has been said.
So, if you want to be more attractive, just stop talking and start listening then you can ask the right question.
“Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours”
— Dale Carnegie
Read also: 3 every day habits that harm your brain
5. They Are Okay to Share Their Vulnerability
Attractive people don’t think to show their vulnerability as a sign of their weakness. But in contrast, they have courage to be themselves with imperfect side and they are okay with it. Instead of putting on a mask, they show their authenticity which makes them seen as human beings.
The truth is the right people will attract to you when you don’t hide the part of your true self.
These people don’t pretend to be cool, strong, or intelligent to connect with others because they know the only way to connect with others is just be themselves. The research suggests people want stick to the truth and not only does it increase their wellbeing, but also their relationship improves.
Being truthful means you are completely open to expressing your feeling and vulnerability even you know is not comfortable. But through them, you let others to see who you are and allow others to do the same.
I know it doesn’t feel comfortable to share your past mistake, reveal your weakness, ask for help or apologize to someone you hurt. But one thing for sure, you will be more attractive because no one is as brave as you are to show your true colors.
Deep inside you already know it doesn’t feel right to be liked by the most people for someone you are not. Probably you will have less people to stay and more people to leave but at least you know, you don’t have to pretend to be someone you are not anymore.
I will leave you a beautiful quote from Brené Brown which describes a vulnerability in a beautiful way.
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness”
CONTRIBUTED BY Amma Alkatiri
For more information and updates join our Whatsapp group HERE
Like our page on Facebook HERE