Don’t believe everything you think

If you think like everyone else, you’ll end up living like everyone else.

Even if we believe our thoughts are ours, most of our beliefs have been forced down our throats by our families, teachers, friends, and society.

And if you want to tap out of common patterns, you need to challenge how you think, what you believe, and why you act like you do.

ReAd also: 10 ways to start getting your life together

Normalize being kind to yourself

You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness by yourself and others. And luckily, you lead the way.

You show others how to treat you by choosing how you treat yourself and setting clear boundaries.

You can decide to stand up for yourself, quickly move on after failure, and celebrate your successes with grace and joy instead of belittling your efforts.

Most people will make you feel bad for being proud of yourself and standing up for your rights, but that’s usually just because they don’t know any better. It’s not because they’re right.

You’re allowed to be proud of yourself and celebrate your wins.

You’re also allowed to change your path or goals without apologizing.

And most importantly, you’re allowed to have high standards without feeling bad about them.

You have one life and all the rights to design it so you feel good about yourself.

When you fail, remind yourself that you didn’t make mistakes on purpose — you made the best possible decision with the resources and information you had available, and you deserve kindness and support despite your mistakes.

Start treating yourself like you treat the people you like and respect.

Don’t believe everything you think

Your brain doesn’t want you to be happy, it just wants you to be safe.

So when we make decisions, we naturally lean toward safer options that make us feel good temporarily.

Here’s what investor says:

“If you have two choices to make, and they’re relatively equal choices, take the path more difficult and more painful in the short term.

What’s actually going on is one of these paths requires short-term pain. And the other path leads to pain further out in the future. And what your brain is doing through conflict-avoidance is trying to push off the short-term pain.

By definition, if the two are even and one has short-term pain, that path has long-term gain associated. With the law of compound interest, long-term gain is what you want to go toward.

Your brain is overvaluing the side with the short-term happiness and trying to avoid the one with short-term pain.”

— The Almanack of Naval Ravikant

Luckily, knowing how your brain works means you can make it work for you.

Most importantly, allow yourself to process negative emotions and fears in silence without rushing through.

So many of our mistakes and wrong decisions are based on hurry and fear. Negative emotions are part of life, but you can take your time to process them, so you can draw meaningful conclusions and avoid toxic patterns.

Start journaling to get your thoughts out of your mind onto a piece of paper, speak up when you don’t like how you’re being treated, and talk things out instead of brushing them under the carpet.

Your emotions deserve attention, but they shouldn’t hold you back.

The busier and more stressed we are, the easier it is to end up in fight-or-flight mode. Think of it like going shopping on an empty stomach: You inevitably make wrong decisions.

You want to clear your mind before you tackle important problems and decisions. This includes making space and taking time to process negative emotions.

Use the Curiosity Mindset

Here’s a simple rule that might change how you think and live forever:

All questions can be answered
All answers can be questioned
You just need the courage to seek answers and ask questions without feeling like an idiot.

You don’t have to believe everything you hear or say, even if the communicator sounds credible. You can ask questions. You can doubt people and their decisions. What matters is that you allow yourself to make your own judgment.

Prioritize consistency over perfection

So many people fail to achieve their goals because they’re more concerned about doing things perfectly than doing them repeatedly.

But here’s the harsh truth: A perfect workout won’t transform your body or mind. Working out consistently will.

One productive day won’t build your dream career. Doing the right things consistently will.

One great date won’t lead to a happy marriage. Consistently showing your partner that you care will.

Instead of trying to avoid mistakes, fail with grace and make being consistent your biggest brag.

You don’t have to be perfect in being consistent, by the way.

You can slip off your good habits sometimes. What matters is that you know how to bounce back.

I’ve been going to the gym for more than 10 years, and I occasionally skip a week or two of working out due to traveling, sickness, or a busy schedule. But I always allow myself to gently move back to a consistent routine.

Most great achievements in life don’t require you to be perfect. They just require you to be better than the average and consistent.

Allow yourself to be a beginner

I talk to hundreds of people per year who tell me they’d like to write online and build an audience, but they don’t know how. They’re complete beginners and would have to start from scratch, so they don’t even try.

So many people ignore their dreams because they don’t like the idea of being a beginner and learning slowly.

But if you’re doing something for the first time, you have to allow yourself to suck at it.

Read also: 10 micro habits that will 10x your productivity

If you’re afraid of looking like a fool, you’ll never move forward. Learning requires feeling a little uncomfortable until your progress becomes visible.

But here’s a secret: Nobody will judge you for trying.

We’ll judge you for talking from the sidelines and never playing the game yourself.

Allow yourself to say, “I don’t know,” or “I’m bad at this,” and find joy in asking for help.

Just because someone has written a book doesn’t mean you have to read it

I aimed to read 50+ books per year for years and would’ve saved hundreds of hours if I had embraced this truth sooner.

I thought my goal was a smart, measurable, and ambitious way to learn more. In reality, I forced myself to also finish books that weren’t worth my time just to hit the goal.

Discovering that a book isn’t what you expected is painful, but forcing yourself to finish a bad book is worse.

It’s 2023, my friend: People are writing and publishing books within days thanks to AI tools.

So many new books are nothing more than a marketing instrument that could easily be a 2,000-word blog post instead of a 200-page book. You’re allowed to ignore the hundreds of pages that are fluffy, bad writing with no new ideas that move you forward.

Start with “No”

A great life includes knowing what you want and finding joy in working toward that goal.

If you constantly take on projects, appointments, and responsibilities that clutter up your schedule, you’ll struggle to put effort into the few things that truly matter to you — whether that’s your family, hobby, or career.

Normalize making “No” your default answer whenever it’s not an obvious “Hell yeah.”

You can still say yes if there’s a hidden opportunity or excitement involved, but train yourself to feel comfortable saying no if a project or opportunity doesn’t add to your happiness or goals.

🟢Contributed by Sinem Günel

For more information and updates join our WhatsApp group HERE

Follow us on Twitter HERE

Join our Telegram group HERE