Don’t let words cast negative spells over you
Warning: this entire post will trigger you.
If you’re easily offended, you have two options here:
Be brave. Read through this post to build some mental resilience by stomaching some words that might be true, but will also sting
Stop reading now. Seriously, I’ll probably hurt your feelings
If you’re ready for tough love, keep reading.
Remove these phrases from your vocabulary asap.
Life Got in the Way
No, it didn’t.
You simply chose to prioritize some tasks over others, which is fine.
But don’t lie.
The tasks that would make a real difference in your life always seem to fall by the wayside, don’t they? Life never seems to get in the way of Netflix, going out to eat, or having drinks with friends, does it?
Life always seems to get in the way of working out, building your side project, or doing any sort of task that requires delayed gratification.
Funny how that works.
Life is always going to have random elements and variables involved. You’re never going to stop being busy.
You’re going to need to find balance in chaos.
Frontload the process. Anticipate the fact that life will try to get in the way. Don’t let it.
Life Threw a Curveball At Me
You’re a major league baseball player. You’ve been on a major hitting slump. Every single time you step up to the plate, you strike out.
Your coach asks you what’s going on.
You tell him that you’re struggling to hit because the pitchers started throwing curveballs.
When the ball comes straight down the middle in the perfect spot of your strike zone, you can hit it. But, if the pitcher tries to trick you in even the slightest way, you can’t hit the ball.
Catching the analogy?
You’re subconsciously telling yourself that you have zero ability to adapt. If you can’t hit curveballs in life, good luck trying to achieve anything of consequence.
Focus on becoming a better hitter. As a business owner, I know for a fact some bullshit is coming my way every single day. As the business grows, it just gets more challenging.
Instead of worrying about what life will throw my way, I put myself through mental batting practice by constantly reminding myself that it doesn’t matter what comes my way. I’ll be able to handle it.
The Man Is Out to Get Me
This one isn’t so much a specific phrase, but a way people talk about how society is just trying to hold them down.
They blame all of their problems on:
Of course forces of oppression exist.
But what does the patriarchy or racism have to do with you skipping out on your side project to watch T.V.? Are billionaires keeping you from going to the gym or starting your business?
The excuses are becoming less and less relevant with the advent of the internet.
You can run an entirely faceless brand online without anyone ever knowing who you are or what you look like. There are anonymous writers who make six figures.
I was the top-earning writer on Medium for six-months straight. How could that be when racism is a death sentence to the futures of black people?
It’s tiresome and condescending.
How Can I Focus When…?
Piggybacking off this thought, there’s another set of phrases floating around and making it seem like you can’t get any work done because the world is a dangerous, scary, and chaotic place.
People went to work and raised families during the bubonic plague, the french revolution, the world wars, you name it. But you can’t go to your air-conditioned office because of a war that’s not even being fought on your turf?
When people share some salacious news on my timeline I just mute them. I understand that this ‘caring about the world’ ethos doesn’t come from a good place.
I’m reminded of this quote:
What do the protestors want? Can they articulate it meaningfully, not in platitudes or “people over profits” or “more fair income redistribution” soundbites? They can’t tell you because they don’t know. They can, however, yell at you what they don’t like, and the louder they yell it the more they hear it themselves. Nothing is expected to be accomplished, it is all for branding. — The Last Psychiatrist
There are a bunch of horrible things going on in the world you have no clue about because no one told you to care about them. Treat the ones the news spews at you the same way. Make them invisible.
Go to work.
I Just Can’t…
There’s a new set of phrases floating around that literally cause fatigue:
I am on the verge of a mental breakdown
Maybe you are. I don’t know you.
But I’m guessing your situation might not be as bad as you think it is.
Do you work in a coal mine?
Again, you’re drained from working in an air-conditioned office, or Caribou coffee, or hell even something like a factory?
I used to work at a factory. It was draining, but more so because it was just boring and monotonous instead of life or death.
What I’m about to say will likely get me canceled but here goes:
The over-emphasis on mental health has been the single biggest factor in the dramatic drop in the quality of our mental health.
Mental health is important. You should monitor it. But this constant, incessant, obsessive, compulsive, neurotic, monitoring of your mental and emotional state is fucking up your life.
There is a time and place for resting and re-charging. There’s also a time and place for purposefully putting yourself through stress, working when you’re tired, pushing yourself, and seeing what you’re made of.
“There’s no mass propaganda telling you to be strong.”
You want out of this strange and twisted world built by ‘the narrative.’
You want to be free and rely on yourself. Nobody wants to feel helpless. But it’s easy to slip into the hypnotic rhythm of self-pity and lack of responsibility.
These societal overlords of ours are cunning.
You have to fight the mental war on all fronts. You have the media, the government, and your peers, friends, and family even spouting some iteration of this nonsense in your direction.
Fight through the pain of mental warfare to gain true freedom.
Ayodeji is the author of Real Help: An Honest Guide to Self-Improvement
CONTRIBUTED BY AYODEJI AWOSIKA
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