🌻 Ways You Sabotage Your Life (and How To Stop)

You’re the only one holding yourself back.

You already have everything you need.

You’re alive. You’re breathing. You’re capable of thinking and learning. If you still feel stuck and hit the same walls again and again, the problem isn’t a lack of opportunities, tools, or “the right time.” The problem is you sabotage yourself.

It’s more common than you think.

For years, I wanted to start a podcast, have a private Telegram group, and pick up coaching again. Yet, I kept telling myself the same bullshit story on repeat like a broken Gramophone. “I need more knowledge and skills. I don’t know the audience well enough. I have to achieve XYZ first.” This is self-sabotage at its finest.

Read also: How one small, bold habit change can change your life

The truth is I was ready all the time. You’re ready, too. You’re ready to move the business forward, create the relationship you want, and to travel the world. You’re just keeping yourself stuck.

To move forward, you have to break the limits you subconsciously set for yourself.

You Stop Before You Even Try

Nothing is certain in life.

Zero. Nada. Niente. Get this idea out of your head. Yes, you’ll likely wake up again tomorrow, but you don’t know for sure. The problem is your brain doesn’t do well with uncertainties.

Instead, it extrapolates from incomplete data — psychologists call this inference.

The sun is shining so it must be warm
My boss is stingy so they won’t give me a raise
My wife is mad so I’ve done something wrong
Truth be told — in most cases, you’re right.

But if you think you know the outcome for sure before you do something, you rob yourself of your best opportunities.

I noticed this a lot when I started talking to hot women or guys who were ten times as successful as me in their business. My default pattern was “they’re gonna reject me.” Most of them did — but a few didn’t.

Don’t assume you know what’s going to happen before you try. The ego tries to protect you from rejection, pain, and wasted efforts. But what if everything turned out to be better than expected?

Life has a lot of great surprises in store for you — don’t turn them down.

You Refuse To Listen To The Best Teacher In Life

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from years of self-improvement, it’s this.

Most growth is painful.

Mistakes are your best teachers. Pain forces you to change. But we still avoid them because they hurt like having a bowling ball dropped onto your left nut.

If you’re honest with yourself, you know what you have to do.

Speak up in the meeting
Tackle the big project
Apologize to our partner
Yet, the pain that comes with it is too much. So we avoid uncomfortable situations altogether. We rather stay stuck in our old ways, taking a little pinch every time instead of a bowling ball once.

Change that pattern.

Yes, it will suck, but that’s okay. Do not resist it.

Say, “this will hurt and that’s okay because it will help me move forward.”

There is no growth without pain. Do what hurts now so you can feel better for all the days that come. Or stay stuck in continuous torture.

Your choice.

You Fall Victim To The Illusion Of Control

Control is an illusion.

People try to predict stock markets, viral articles, relationship success, sexual chemistry, and the weather.

Then, they stand with an umbrella in the sunshine or swim shorts in a snowstorm and wonder where it all went wrong.

The ego wants to be safe, so it tries to control everything that poses a threat.

Look good so others don’t talk badly about you
Be prepared for the meeting so others don’t think you’re dumb
Plan the date night so things don’t get boring
There’s nothing wrong with that, but too much planning will only recreate the patterns you’re trying to let go of.

You will reduce yourself to what has worked in the past — using your looks, smarts, or ideas. They have served you well, but if that’s all you have, it’s all you’re gonna get.

When I hopped on coaching calls, I used to have everything planned meticulously. It made me feel confident and safe. But it was all an illusion.

By overplanning, I recreated patterns from my past — and found clients that weren’t a good fit or gave them reasons to not work with me.

This doesn’t mean you should throw all plans out the window. But if you try to control everything, your mind ends up controlling you. It will keep you stuck where you are because that feels safe and familiar.

Read also: To stop being a wantrepreneur, read this

You cannot control life.

Live it instead.

You Waste Your Time With Mental Masturbation

This is one of the most common ways people keep themselves from reaching their dreams.

It’s so easy to justify. Of course, you need a degree to get a good job, good looks to attract a hot partner, and a killer idea to start a business. But do you really?

The truth is, nobody knows.

It doesn’t hurt to have something going for you, but if you’re scared of taking the leap, preparation becomes a productive way of avoiding what you need to do.

You watch YouTube videos about social skills instead of talking to people
You read books about business instead of building yours
You understand nutrition to a T before you start a diet
I did the “mental masturbation” for years. Instead of doing what I had to, I told myself I needed more secret sauce first. Then, I changed my perspective.

I realized that whatever I had right now was enough to try.

With every hour of practice, I learned more than in 100 hours of theory.

Do not keep yourself stuck thinking you need more. You already have all it takes to try. And that’s all you need.

Trying and failing will get you further than endless preparation without trying at all.

You Neglect Your Balance

The longer I live, the more I realize life is about balance.

Silent moments and hour-long talks. Exercise and rest. Work and play. Coconut water and cocaine lines.

When you get off balance, you either waste your time or burn yourself out. I’ve done both.

One year, I smoked over 1,000 joints — long nights, endless parties, and lots of fun. Another year, I worked 30 days in a row, ten hours a day, no days off — hustle hard, Yallah Habibi. Both kept me stuck, either in instant gratification or the hamster wheel.

However, it’s hard to change the pattern.

Everything you do has a payoff, but the returns diminish the more you do.

The first two hours of work are more productive than the last two — the first week of vacation calms you more than the third one.

To get unstuck, ask yourself where your life is off-balance.

“Do I need more challenges or more rewards?”
“Do I need more me-time or more social events?”
“Do I need more thinking or more action?”
The more balanced you are, the easier it becomes to cross the bridge to the next level.

🟢Contributed by Moreno Zugaro

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