🌻How to Wake Up Smiling Every Day: 7 Truths People Realize Too Late In Life

Life is about knowing what does not work, rather than trying to make everything work

Jordan Peterson said something profound that I have realized time and again through direct application.

Experience is the best teacher, and the worst experiences teach the best lessons.

Having lived 34 years in this beautiful world, facing numerous adversities and precious moments of joy, I’ve come to terms with the fact that much of our life experiences are a direct outcome of our belief system.

It takes years to develop a solid belief system built on the foundation of self-awareness, practical optimism, and gratitude. Most people take far too long to realize the secret ingredients that make life worth living.

Read also: How to finally become the person you’re capable of becoming

You can’t have it all at once

There are five pillars of life. Each of them is equally crucial to building the foundation of a meaningful life — health, career, relationships, spirituality, and personal goals.

Most people dedicate the first 25–30 years to constructing and strengthening these pillars. Everyone wants a solid foundation. But they want it by strengthening all the pillars at once.

The reality is — you cannot have it all at once. You can only focus on one or two pillars at a time.

At schools, we constantly learn to strengthen the career pillar. But our education system does a half-cooked job of it.

That is why parenting is so crucial.

Children who start building these pillars and learn their importance early are the ones we call lucky.

But let’s not digress. It isn’t some political speech.

You can only strengthen one or two pillars at a time.

That’s why those who become parents early often have mediocre career aspirations and those who solely focus on their career struggle with relationships.

Some never focus on their health until it’s too late, while others spend years devoting themselves to the almighty but never get to travel and experience its beautiful creation.

You can have it all eventually. But all facets of your life will not flourish at once. The key is to work on one of the pillars for long enough so it can run on autopilot. Then switch to the other one.

You must make practical choices and prioritize. It’s almost impossible to thrive in all aspects of your life.

Accepting that simple truth can make a world of difference to how you see your life.

It’s worth taking a few steps backward for happiness

It’s been four years since I quit my job for solopreneurship, and I still don’t earn as much as my 9–5 corporate job.

It would have been a different story if I had just started my career. But taking a leap of faith and starting from scratch after a decade has its ups & downs.

Nevertheless, I am happy to take a pay cut for some immeasurable perks.

I get to spend more time with my family.
I can take a day off whenever I want.
When a close friend wants to catch up on a weekday, I seldom say no due to work commitments.
I get the flexibility to work remotely and choose my working hours. For someone who loves traveling, it is a luxury.
I can say No without hesitation — I always decide on the projects and clients I want to work for.
I have peace of mind and wake up energized on most days.
Over the past year, I’ve attended two 10-day silent meditation retreats without worrying about getting leave or being cut off from the internet.

We often judge our success based on how much money we make. While financial success is one of the parameters, it is not the essence of financial freedom.

Financial freedom is about having the freedom to use your time the way you want. And for that, you might have to make some sacrifices in the short term.

Sometimes, it’s worth taking a few steps backward for happiness.

Everyone enters your life with a purpose

Some people teach us a lesson, while others make us feel loved. Some come into our lives to give us a profound idea, while others completely change our lives.

Some help us discover our true selves, while others inspire us to make a difference. Some are here for a lifetime, while others come and leave as they please.

Everyone enters your life with a purpose.

I got the idea of taking a PT course from a woman I met during a holiday in the Gili Islands. We partied together and had a wonderful time. And in those moments, we had multiple deep conversations.

It wasn’t the first time someone recommended me to take up fitness as a career looking at my physique and love of fitness. But most likely, she came into my life to inspire me.

And she did.

We never met afterward. We spoke only once or twice on the phone. But one conversation changed my career trajectory for years to come.

Everyone enters your life with a purpose. Once it is fulfilled, they move on.

Allow people to come and go as they please. Most of them are temporary people who teach you permanent lessons.

No one is coming to save you. You own your life.

I must have heard this quote a million times during morning assemblies in school — God helps those who help themselves.

But I internalized it only after facing adversity as I turned 18. It was a life-changing moment that marked the death of my lack of accountability forever.

If everyone jumps off a cliff and you join them, it’s not their problem. It’s on you.

When I suffered from a slipped (herniated) disc in my late 20s, I almost went into depression. I used to blame my situation and wonder why am I the only one suffering all the time.

Once I recognized the downward spiral of a victim mindset I was in, everything changed. I switched to a fighter mindset that gave me the confidence and self-belief to keep going.

Assuming accountability for situations, irrespective of fault, is empowering. You won’t ever feel helpless or experience other people controlling your life.

Accountability comes from self-awareness and self-love.

It applies to every facet of your life — work, relationships, health, money — everything.

This simple change in perspective has given me the strength to get back up and fight every hardship.

Once you hit rock bottom, the only way is up. But you have to be prepared to do it on your own. You have to own your life.

As Cara Alwill Leyba once said:

You must love yourself so fiercely and fully that you have no other choice but to be strong for yourself, to fight for yourself, to be yourself, and to build yourself.

Decisiveness is about letting go of control

While contemplating quitting my job for an unconventional career path, I doubted myself several times, so much so that I had to take up therapy in spite of being a high-performing individual.

Eventually, I realized my inherent urge to dictate every outcome and attain flawless results was holding me back.

Once I let go of that compulsion, my head was clear. And I was able to make the right decision. One I am happy about and never regret despite all the challenges.

One of the most undervalued qualities of a person is decisiveness. It’s often also the most neglected one.

Most decisions in life are not life-changing. But the ability to be confident and quick in decision-making is a game-changer.

That’s why I follow one simple rule. Whenever you encounter a hard decision — act first, think later.

I am not saying make a hasty decision. Trust your intuition. Stop worrying too much about the pathway, direction, speed, or capability — and get going.

Start moving in a direction and figure it out on the go.

People often dilly-dally out of ego, arrogance, or attachment. But once you let go and let the universe takes its course, you become unstoppable.

The biggest paradox of life is — as long as you want to have control, you can’t have it. As soon as you let go, you can have it all.

The only thing you can control is your actions. Let go of the urge to manipulate the outcome and witness your life change.

There is no finish line

As a student, I was terrified of exam season. Every year I would ask my mom if life would get easier someday.

Her usual reply was:

Do not worry, son! Focus on your exams for now. It will get better after this one.

I thought life would get easier once college began.

As I left home to move to a different city and start university, I realized life got more demanding. So I thought it would get easier once I started working.

But I was wrong.

College life was a piece of cake. The real world had just started.

Finding a place to stay in another new city, climbing the corporate ladder, dealing with office politics and personal relationships — always something to worry about.

The circle of learning kept getting bigger and bigger.

In time, I realized the only way to be at peace is to accept you constantly need to learn, unlearn and relearn in life.

It will cause discomfort and lead to struggles.

But life gets easier once you start embracing those struggles. It allows you to find joy in life’s challenges and enjoy the journey.

The only other constant in life besides change is your pursuit to keep growing and learning something new.

Happiness is a choice, and it requires work.

Life often seems unfair because you have not worked on it. You are entitled to absolutely nothing.

Simplicity is the ultimate joy

A few years ago, a friend asked me how I wanted to celebrate my birthday. I told her I would like to go hiking near Sunshine Coast, about 100 km from where I lived at the time.

Four of us went for it, and the entire trip cost us 15L of fuel and a few sandwiches. That’s less than what someone would typically spend on a night out.

When I travel solo, I seldom go for a luxury vacation. I usually stay at a hostel, eat at local joints, and try to absorb their culture.

Once I escape the city’s grasp, one of my favorite activities is sitting outside on a dark night and admiring the beautiful starry sky.

When I was living alone, I used to sleep on three yoga mats stacked on each other. Resting close to the floor, on a hard surface, keeps me grounded and my back healthy.

Read also: 18 lessons from Bruce Lee that will change you

I still do it from time to time.

Over time I have realized that most things that bring me joy are either too cheap or free.

I enjoy going for long walks. I love connecting with strangers and learning from their life experiences. I enjoy writing and staying close to nature. I prefer working out in parks over gyms.

Living within your means and finding joy in non-materialistic, spiritual things may not be as cool, but it cultivates a deeper sense of contentment that withstands the test of time.

When you are healthy, you have way too many wants, but only when your health suffers do you realize it’s all you want.

When you embrace simplicity, you realize everything you desire is already within your reach. You just need to start appreciating it more.

🟢Contributed by Abhimanyu Bhargava

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