Being stuck is a choice — so is moving on.
Being stuck sucks donkey balls.
Relationship patterns. Business plateaus. A shitty job you don’t like.
I know how it feels to hit the same walls again and again, caught in an endless spiral of hope and despair, rising sky-high only to crash hell-deep.
You tell yourself that this time, everything will be different. When it isn’t, you bang your head against the wall trying to figure out how to finally move past the invisible barrier. But the problem is we’re often blind to what keeps us stuck.
Your ego is smart. It clouds your judgment and protects you from the harsh truths that help you move on. That’s why I ask myself a simple, yet eye-opening question every time I feel stuck.
The answers aren’t pretty, but they move me forward.
Read also: How to find balance and not lose yourself while pursuing success
The One Thing You Have To Understand First
Being stuck is a choice.
It’s not always a conscious one, but as once said:
“You are where you are in life because you want to be there.”
Put your doubts aside and spin this thought for a minute.
Could it be that you choose a sexless marriage, financial problems, and being fat along with all the other walls you can’t seem to move past?
Yes. Yes you do. Let me explain why.
For the longest time, I’ve held the belief that I wasn’t enough. I devalued my work by charging lower prices and sabotaged my relationships because I thought I didn’t deserve better. But why did I do it over and over?
The answer came with a simple question:
“What’s the benefit of staying stuck?”
Not pricing my work higher meant I didn’t have to grind hard to deliver top-notch quality.
Sabotaging my relationship meant I could feel better about myself because I got to play the fixer and savior, which made me feel loved.
If you’re stuck, there’s always a benefit — else you would move on.
The tricky part is finding out what your payoff is.
- A sexless marriage saves you from experiencing sexual shame or performance anxiety in bed.
- Being stuck in a job saves you from having to learn new skills and grind harder.
- Staying fat saves you from the effort of going to the gym and learning about nutrition.
These are just a few possibilities — your reasons might be different.
Once you understand the benefits of staying stuck, you stop being clueless and frustrated about your situation. You can let go of them instead of falling into the same old patterns. You’ll be able to move on.
Read also: 9 powerful truths that will change your life forever
How To Get Unstuck
If you feel stuck, do this:
- **Ask yourself, **“what’s the benefit of staying stuck in my current situation?”
- Write down everything that comes to mind, brainstorming style. Don’t overthink your answers, just rapid-fire until your brain runs out of ammo.
- Examine your answers and understand how this thinking impacts your life. Let go of what doesn’t serve you and do what moves you forward.
Being stuck is a choice.
Choose to get unstuck instead.
Contributed [Moreno Zugaro
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