You are where you are because you choose to be there.
Being stuck is a decision.
A few years ago, I was in a study program I despised. Soon after, my business plateaued. Then, I realized the relationship with my mum wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be. In each of these situations, I didn’t see a way out — only a grim future if things didn’t change.
What set me free wasn’t a hidden secret, special technique, or magic pill.
I just had to accept a few brutal truths.
Once I did, all the puzzle pieces fell into place.
Whether you’re in a sexless marriage, a job you despise, or you can’t get your ass off the couch to hit the gym, it’s all in your head.
You can free yourself. You can achieve what you want to. You can get unstuck.
But you’ll have to swallow a few bitter pills first.
You Are Where You Are Because You Choose To Be There
This will hurt, but it’s necessary.
Many years ago, I got stuck in a toxic relationship for far too long. Of course, I was blaming her for the late-night arguments and hour-long screaming matches. “If only she didn’t wake me up this morning to fight, our relationship would be so great.” But what I didn’t see was this:
I was in this relationship because I chose to be in it. She treated me the way she did because I chose to tolerate it. I didn’t have a better relationship because I chose toxic love over working through my issues.
Read also: How to stop worrying and get good at life
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt
You make your own choices. If you waste time on the couch, stay with a dickhead boss, or get into a fight with your spouse every night instead of soaking the sheets, you have to understand that you choose this. Tough love, I know.
It’s so much easier to blame external factors — “I have to feed my family,” “we’re staying together for the kids,” and “there’s a new Netflix special.”
This is a victim mindset. Throw it out. Take responsibility for your situation and either change it or make peace with it.
You choose to be where you are right now and will be in the future.
You’ll Have To Act Before You Feel Ready
Being stuck makes you feel good.
It lets you stay in your comfort zone, even if it’s full of shit. Change is scary, which is why we often feel like we aren’t ready for it.
When I started full-time writing, I couldn’t have picked a worse time. The pandemic had started, I was close to completing a Business Master’s Program, and I just fell in love and into a new relationship. I didn’t feel ready for it — but I still took the leap.
Because I knew that wherever this step might take me, it would be one hundred times better than being stuck in a study program I hated and the perspective of a soul-crushing 9–5.
You will never feel 100% ready to get yourself unstuck — that’s okay. It’s an indicator you’re on the right path. “It’s not the right time” is the excuse your ego uses to keep you in your comfort zone.
“Start before you feel ready. You don’t need to know where it’s all going. You’ll work it out along the way.”
— Rebecca Campbell
Instead of waiting for the perfect moment, do it now. Look for a new job, have that uncomfortable conversation with your partner, or get off the couch and go for a walk. It will make you grow.
Take the leap and get unstuck.
The Pain of Regret Is Always Greater Than the Pain of Discipline
Nothing hurts more than saying “I wish I had.”
When I look back at my life, the only regret I have is not getting unstuck quickly enough. Toxic relationships. A career path that didn’t make me happy. The wrong circle of friends. So why did I do it?
For the same reason we all stay in situations we don’t want to be in.
It takes a ton of discipline to get out. You’ll have to change your behaviors, beliefs, and mindset. You’ll have to get up every morning to do the work.
“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”
— Jim Rohn
When I debated whether I should quit my studies for full-time writing, my dad wrote me a letter. He didn’t try to convince me of either path. But he said something I’ll remember forever — “even if nothing comes of it, you’ll be grateful for the experience. That’s much better than saying ‘I wish I had.’”
Every time you choose to stay stuck because it seems easier, you’re choosing a future pain that’s one hundred times stronger.
Read also: 3 powerful habits to build insane discipline (without being miserable)
Wrap-Up To Help You Get Unstuck
Being stuck sucks.
If you want to change your relationship, get out of a soul-sucking job, or leave your old life behind, you’ll have to understand these three brutal truths first.
You are where you are in life because you choose to be there. Take responsibility.
You will never feel 100% ready for a change. Act anyway.
The pain of regret will always be greater than the pain of discipline. Choose wisely.
If you’ve waited for a sign to finally get unstuck and change your life, this is it.
Develop unshakable masculine confidence with these 5 proven habits.
Contributed by Moreno Zugaro
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