Small changes, big effects.

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“The world accommodates you for fitting in, but only rewards you for standing out.”

― Matshona Dhliwayo

Here’s a harsh truth you don’t want to hear: Most of life is a competition.

The amazing job you want has hundreds of applicants. The cute girl you dream of doing naughty things with has hundreds of admirers. Apartments, promotions, prime sunset spots… You get the idea.

To win these competitions and get what you want, you have to stand out from the crowd. If others write you off as another Joe Schmo, you drown in the masses and lose your dream job, girl, or apartment to someone else.

People’s impression of you determines what they express towards you.

Confident behavior that makes you stand out from the crowd will get you the royal treatment.

It’s how I got free drinks, heartwarming compliments, superb dates, and introductions to networks way above my league.

Read also: 9 daily habits that can have a huge impact on your life

Here are four simple ways you can do that, too.

How to Master The Art of Eye Contact

People often dub eyes the “window to the soul” for a reason.

I remember a girl at a party who had something extremely rare: The ability to hold eye contact, no matter the tension. We didn’t talk much, but the world around us disappeared, making these moments more memorable than any conversation I had that night.

Holding eye contact is hard — research shows it’s so intense it can make it hard to think and speak. No wonder your brain feels like three-day-old goulash soup when you look into the beautiful eyes of an attractive stranger.

But if you can hold confident eye contact, women will melt and job interviewers will perceive you as better suited. People will also rate you as more intelligent, conscientious, sincere, trustworthy, and likable. That’s a ton of good characteristics to bank in a few seconds.

Here’s how you can master the art of eye contact:

Seek out strangers’ eyes on the street. When they meet yours, don’t look away. Smile and hold the gaze for a second. You can easily get in 10–20 tries every day and make quick progress.
Focus on one eye when you’re close to someone’s face. Frequent switching signals insecurity.
Smile. It’s not just a friendly gesture but makes the difference between a creepy stare and an intriguing “our eyes met.”
Aim for 3-second-gazes. According to research, it’s the ideal duration. Anything much longer gets uncomfortable for both.
Practice with a friend by looking into each other’s eyes for a solid minute. This will teach you to deal with the tension that comes up.
In a sea of timid people, stand out by looking straight into others’ souls.

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This Feature Introduces You Before You Even Speak

Your body language is like your life’s business card because it’s one of the first things people notice.

If you ever met someone who’s down, you could see it without hearing a single word they speak. Their head hangs low. Their shoulders slouch forward. They look like they’re constantly afraid life’s going to whack ’em over the head with a baseball bat.

Most people are stressed, anxious, and bent over from sitting at a desk eight hours a day, and their body tells the tale. Before they can even say a word, others already get a bad first impression.

That’s why confident body language makes you stand out from the crowd. Attraction is highly subconscious and your powerful aura will draw people in. But that isn’t all.

When you take a confident stance, you will feel more confident, too. It’s like your body’s built-in cocaine dispensary.

One of my friends recently told me I had great posture — shoulders back, chest out, legs shoulder-width.

You can have that, too.

Use the doorframe technique.

Check your posture every time you walk through a door. It will quickly become a subconscious trigger working in your favor.
Think “shooting lasers from your nipples.”
Imagine you’re a superhero on the battlefield against evil. Pull your shoulders back, stick your chest out, feet firm on the ground. Pew pew.
Train your rear deltoids and upper back.
They straighten your spine to replace slouching with openness, so exercise them two to three times a week.

Carry yourself with confidence and stand out from the crowd.

How To Use Small Talk To Stand Out

Small talk is like wiping after diarrhea — not exactly fun, but necessary if you want to interact with people.

However, it’s also one of the easiest opportunities to score brownie points.

See, during small talk, people often fall into autopilot mode because it’s that boring. If you can snap them out of it, you’ll be the one conversation that stands out for the night because you were confident enough to break the pattern.

“Connecting with others in meaningful ways tends to make people happier.”

— Nicholas Epley, professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago

All you have to do is to find exciting answers to boring questions.

Here are a few examples:

Answer genuinely when someone asks how you’re doing. No more “I’m fine, thanks.” Say fantastic, stressed, blessed, in agony, or better than yesterday. Whatever you say, be real — people appreciate authenticity.
Create an entertaining description of what you do for a living. “I abuse keyboards” vs. “I’m a blogger.” “I pull all-nighters and tell people things they don’t want to hear” vs. “I’m a consultant.” You don’t have to become the next Jim Carrey, just make it a little fun.
If you notice someone’s passionate about a topic, ask them to tell you more. It gets people excited and is a great opportunity to leave the boring stuff behind.
Ask “why” more often. It makes people think.
Small talk is a great opportunity to set yourself apart by leaving it quickly.

Read also: How to stay consistent on your goal

Focus On This When You Speak And Your Words Will Become Infinitely More Powerful

Tricking humans can be a piece of cake.

The rarer something is, the more valuable we think it to be — it’s known as the scarcity bias.

This goes for luxury watches as well as speech. The less someone says, the more power and value each word holds. It’s why mafia bosses in movies think a lot, listen even more, and speak very little.

They also take their time with each word. This communicates…

…they aren’t afraid of people not listening, increasing their perceived status and value.
…high social intelligence because they give the listener time to understand.
…their words are valuable because there are so few.
But when we’re nervous, we often rant and words pour out of our mouths like an expired Thai Curry out of my rear end.

Slow down your speech by a notch or two.

Give yourself time to think before you answer.
Pause for a second after each sentence — you can even say “full stop” in your head before you move to the next one.
Be concise and precise in your speech. Fewer words mean each is more valuable.
If you want to stand out from the crowd, be like a sniper with your words. Use few, take your time, and hit the nail on the head.

Summary To Help You Stand Out and Show Extreme Confidence

Most of life is a competition — standing out from the masses shows confidence and will help you win.

You don’t have to wear a pink hat or walk backward to do so, just try these four techniques:

Make the right kind of eye contact.
Stand upright with your shoulders back and chest out.
Make small talk big.
Think before you speak, then speak slowly.
“No one remembers you for standing in the crowd. But they do remember you for standing out of it.”

— Eddie Harris

CONTRIBUTED BY Moreno Zugaro

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