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Youâve met them.
The ones who enter a room and without a single word, you already know theyâre respected, and even their mere presence is appreciated.
Itâs enviable, donât be ashamed of saying that.
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I want to be one of them, too!
But rather than staying in envy, what if I told you that you could actually be one of these people?
And all it takes is a few little habit changes.
Want to be well-liked by others?
Read also: 7 habits that are hard to do but pay off forever
You can start by cultivating these 9 little habits.
1) Breathe and pause before you speak
This is a technique shared both by spoken word poets and public speakers.
Taking a deep breath not only makes others cue in into what you are about to say, it also allows you to gather energy and build momentum.
The pause allows you to gather attention while centering yourself so you donât end up rushing through your words.
And why would you rush through your words?
Unless youâre a rapper, speaking in a rushed manner conveys anxiety, stress, or worseâ a feeling of unworthiness to own the time and attention of others.
So be calm and collected. Itâs something most people admire in others.
2) Choose your words wisely
We know how much our words impact others. Just one harsh comment and youâd change how people view you forever.
So if you want people to appreciate you more, pay attention to your words.
You donât have to go crazy.
Say âI think your office needs a bit of cleaning upâ instead of âYour office is a dump!â
Or say âI have things to doâ instead of âYouâre wasting my time!â
That way, even if youâre in a heated discussion, youâre less likely to blurt out nonsense and vitriol.
I donât know about you, but I notice that the most respected and appreciated people I know are the gentlestâespecially when it comes to their words.
3) Read the room
People who know how to read a room sense group dynamics.
They can easily interpret the relationships of people within a group and even the internal feelings of each person.
Because of this, they know NOT to crack a joke to someone who is stressed or angry.
They also know that relationships between peopleâwhether two people are closet enemies, or secretly infatuated with each other.
How do you learn this skill?
Simpleâlearn how to decode body language.
This way, youâd know how to treat people better, and in return, theyâd like having you around.
4) Donât overcommit
I remember adjusting my schedule and rushing through previous appointments to meet everyone elseâs convenient time.
Well, I arrived thirty minutes late, disheveled and sweating and saying âsorry, sorry, sorryâ like I just committed a crime.
Was it appreciated? Did people respect me more because of what I did?
Nope!
And itâs not just because they got pissed that I was late.
It shows that Iâm not valuing my own time while over-valuing theirs! It communicated to everyone that their time was more important than mine.
It also probably didnât help that they all got to the meeting fresh and relaxed while I arrived out of breath and exhausted.
From then on, I never allowed that again. I decided that Iâd only commit when I know I can commit.
5) Say âthanksâ more often
One way to easily earn the hate of other people is to take them for granted by being unappreciative of what theyâre doing.
If they gave you the time, space, or shared their skills and energy with you, the least you could do is express a genuine âthank you.â
âWhat goes around comes around,â as the saying goes.
So if youâve been acting like an entitled person, people will throw away the respect and appreciation they had for you as easily as the trash.
The simple antidote: gratitude. Lots and lots of it.
6) Look people in the eye when they talk
Not in a threatening way, of course. But in a supportive and attentive way that says âIâm here, Iâm listening to you.â
People like to feel seen because it makes THEM feel respected and appreciated.
So letâs say, if youâre an interviewer, you might think typing it all out and keeping your pen on your notebook is making you look all smart and efficient.
But remember that people need to know that you are paying attention to them.
Otherwise, they might feel like youâre ignoring or snubbing them and they will start to unconsciously appreciate you less.
So look people in the eye when they speak.
An engaged listener gets far more respect than the one who always seems distracted.
7) Speak of other peopleâs gifts
Ever noticed that when you genuinely compliment someone, they end up seeing your positive traits as well?
When you amplify someone, sooner rather than later, they start amplifying you, too.
So if youâre the type who quietly admires other people, either because youâre shy (or worse, insecure and donât want to add to other peopleâs light), adapting this simple habit will create a shift for you.
Try going out and seeking peopleâs gifts and then speak of itâ to them or to peers.
Make sure though itâs not just about superficial things like shoes, or clothes, but about qualities or values that you genuinely respect.
When you speak about how you admire them, you not only put yourself in the same line as them, (literally and figuratively), youâre also creating the habit, and persona of someone who lifts other people.
As paradoxical as it seems, the more you shine the light on other peopleâs strengths, the light bounces off of you, too.
8) Do things alone
Do you always ask your friends to go with you to an event? And if they wonât go, youâd rather not go?
Do you wait for someone to go to the toilet so you can go with them because you simply hate being alone?
Well, you gotta stop if you want respect from others.
Doing things alone is a habit that will make people respect and appreciate you more.
Whether itâs traveling, dining out, or hiking, doing things in happy and content solitude commands respect.
Why?
Because it shows competence and independence.
Someone who is able to confidently stand on their own instantly commands the room.
So go ahead eat alone, go to a concert alone, go to the cinema alone. Doing things alone when people expect you to be with others shows youâve got character.
Read also: Life is short do this so you don’t waste your timeÂ
9) Prioritize yourself
People can sense people-pleasers.
And while many expect them to be loved and liked because of how much they give, what actually happens is they are often taken for granted or worse, abused for their kindness.
But people who are well-respected always know how to decline and say âno.â
Itâs not that theyâre selfish or inconsiderate. But short of an actual life or death scenario, they keep their commitments to themselves sacred.
So even if itâs âjustâ a reading time and coffee time, they wonât reschedule it for something others feel is more important.
So how does this make others respect them more?
Well, by showing how much they value and respect themselves, they teach others to value and respect them too.
Final thoughts
While being respected and appreciated is something that is reasonable to want, always remember that you canât be everyoneâs cup of tea. (Some people donât really like tea, to prove a point.)
What matters most is that you are being your most authentic self!
And that at the end of the day, you can look in the mirror and love yourself unconditionallyâ flaws and all.
Because what does all the respect and appreciation in the world matter if your inner voice is still saying mean remarks each time you make a move or decision?
đGET THIS NOW: AUTOMATED INCOME MACHINE
Contributed by Pearl Nash
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