🌼The art of not caring: 8 steps to stop seeking approval from others

🎈GET THIS NOW: AUTOMATED INCOME MACHINE

🔥 E-book offer of the day👇

Poultry farming business report volume 7

The art of not caring: 8 steps to stop seeking approval from other

There’s a huge difference between living for yourself and living for others.

The difference lies in approval. Continually seeking validation from others is like being a puppet on strings, dancing to their tune, not yours.

Living for yourself, however, means making your own choices – even if they don’t align with what others expect or want from you.

As someone who has walked this path and learned a thing or two about mindfulness and Buddhism, I believe there are steps you can take to stop seeking approval from others. And trust me, it’s liberating.

Here are eight steps that I’ve personally found helpful in mastering the art of not caring.

Let’s dive in.

Read also: How to help a child with anger issues 

1) Recognize your worth

We often find ourselves in situations where we’re constantly trying to prove our worth to others. It’s like being in a perpetual audition, trying to land a role that we think others will appreciate.

But here’s the thing: your value isn’t determined by the number of likes on your social media post or the approval of your boss. It’s determined by you.

This is where mindfulness comes into play. It encourages us to shift our focus inward and recognize our intrinsic worth. And believe me, this can be quite empowering.

By practicing mindfulness, you start to understand that your worth isn’t contingent on anyone else’s opinion but your own.

When you find yourself seeking validation from others, take a moment to pause. Reflect on your own worth and remember that you don’t need anyone else’s approval to feel good about yourself.

2) Embrace imperfection

Perfection is an illusion. We’re all beautifully flawed in our own unique ways and that’s okay.

As someone who has spent years studying and practicing mindfulness and Buddhism, I can tell you that one of the most freeing experiences is accepting your imperfections.

One of my favorite quotes from renowned mindfulness expert, Jon Kabat-Zinn, captures this beautifully. He once said, “You are not a problem to be solved, but a person to be experienced.”

This quote struck a chord with me because it reminded me that we’re all works in progress. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

When you find yourself striving for perfection to please others, remember these wise words from Jon Kabat-Zinn. You’re not a problem to be solved but a person to be experienced – with all your strengths and flaws.

Embrace your imperfections. They’re what make you unique. And trust me, those who truly care about you will love you for who you are, not what they want you to be.

3) Understand the nature of suffering

Buddhism teaches us that suffering is a part of life. It’s inescapable and universal. But it also teaches us that much of our suffering is self-inflicted, often arising from our constant need for approval.

We suffer when we attach ourselves to the idea of being liked or accepted by others. We suffer when we worry about not living up to someone else’s expectations. We suffer when we let others’ opinions define our self-worth.

This is where the profound wisdom of Buddhism can be truly liberating.

The Buddha said, “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

This wisdom urges us to turn our quest for approval inward, to seek acceptance not from others but from ourselves.

Your worth isn’t determined by how much you’re liked or disliked by others, but by how much you like and accept yourself. And that’s a powerful truth to live by.

4) Practice mindfulness

In our constant pursuit of approval, we often forget to live in the present moment. We’re either regretting the past or worrying about the future, and in doing so, we miss out on the beauty of the now.

This is where mindfulness comes into play.

Mindfulness is all about being present – being fully aware and engaged in the current moment, without judgment or distraction. It’s about observing your thoughts and feelings as they are, not as you wish them to be.

When you practice mindfulness, you start to notice how often your thoughts drift towards seeking validation from others. This awareness is the first step towards change.

Once you’re aware of these thoughts, you can choose to let them go. You can decide not to engage with them or let them influence your self-worth.

Take a few moments each day to be mindful. Sit quietly, focus on your breath, and observe your thoughts without judgment. You might be surprised at how liberating it feels to simply exist in the moment, free from the need for approval.

5) Live with impact, not ego

It’s easy to confuse being liked with being impactful. But they’re not the same thing. In fact, they often pull us in opposite directions.

Being liked often involves playing it safe, saying what others want to hear, and rarely rocking the boat. On the other hand, being impactful often involves taking risks, speaking your truth, and occasionally ruffling feathers.

I explore this tension in-depth in my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“. I discuss how Buddhism teaches us to live authentically and impactfully, without being driven by our ego or the need for approval.

In the end, when you look back at your life, it won’t be the likes or approvals that count. It will be the impact you’ve made on others and the world around you. So why not start living for impact rather than approval today?

Read also: 7 signs someone is mentally tough, according to psychology 

6) Cultivate self-compassion

We often judge ourselves harshly, magnifying our flaws and dismissing our accomplishments. This self-criticism stems from our need for approval – we believe we’re not good enough unless others tell us so.

But mindfulness and Buddhism offer a different perspective.

They teach us to cultivate self-compassion, to treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we’d show to a friend. They remind us that everyone, including us, has strengths and weaknesses – and that’s perfectly okay.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Buddhist monk, put it beautifully when he said, “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

When you find yourself being your own worst critic, take a step back. Treat yourself with compassion. Remember that you’re human, and it’s okay to be imperfect. Above all, remember that your worth isn’t defined by others’ approval but by your own acceptance of yourself.

7) Let go of control

We often seek approval as a way to control how others perceive us. We want to be liked, admired, respected. But the truth is, we can’t control what others think or feel about us – and that’s okay.

Buddhist teachings emphasize the importance of letting go, of surrendering control, and accepting things as they are. And this includes letting go of our need for approval.

As mindfulness expert, Tara Brach, wisely stated, “The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.”

This quote is a powerful reminder that our freedom lies in accepting that we can’t please everyone and that’s not our job. Our job is to live authentically and true to ourselves.

Let go of the illusion of control. Accept that you can’t dictate how others perceive you. Instead, focus on living authentically and let people form their own opinions. Trust me, it’s a liberating experience!

8) Seek disapproval

This one may sound counterintuitive, but bear with me.

In our journey to stop seeking approval, it’s helpful to intentionally seek situations where we may face disapproval. This doesn’t mean being disagreeable or disrespectful for the sake of it. Rather, it means standing up for your beliefs, expressing your true self, even if it might not align with what others expect or want from you.

Mindfulness encourages us to face these situations head-on and observe the feelings that arise without judgment. This can be uncomfortable at first, but it’s through this discomfort that we grow and learn to detach our self-worth from others’ opinions.

Actively seeking disapproval helps us realize that it’s not the end of the world when someone disagrees with us or doesn’t like us. It teaches us resilience and reaffirms that our worth is not tied to the approval of others.

Go ahead, step out of your comfort zone. Seek disapproval. You might be surprised at how liberating it feels to be true to yourself.

Read also: 10 often overlooked signs of exceptional intelligence 

Conclusion

The journey to stop seeking approval from others is not an easy one. It requires self-awareness, courage, and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone. But trust me, it’s a journey worth undertaking.

Remember, your worth is not defined by others’ approval but by your own acceptance of yourself. So start living for yourself. Embrace your imperfections. Understand the nature of suffering. Practice mindfulness. Live with impact, not ego. Cultivate self-compassion. Let go of control. And finally, dare to seek disapproval.

These eight steps aren’t just random tips – they’re a roadmap to living authentically and freeing yourself from the need for approval.

If you’d like to delve deeper into this journey, I invite you to check out my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“. It offers more insights into living an authentic life based on Buddhist principles.

Remember, life is too short to live for others’ approval. Start living for yourself today!

🎈GET THIS NOW: AUTOMATED INCOME MACHINE

By Lachlan Brown

For more information and updates join our WhatsApp group HERE

Join our Telegram group HERE