I haven’t been okay this May.
After experiencing an entire month that was low, I want to tell you what helped me.
It hasn’t been easy.
The sensation on my chest feels so heavy that I’ve actually clenched it with my hands waiting for it to stop feeling that way. I’ve sometimes put both my hands on my chest and just let out deep breaths in anticipation for this feeling to go away.
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There was no one problem.
There were multiple things on my mind.
And you know what? I’m the most optimistic person I know and always keep my energy in check because I want to radiate positivity to attract positivity.
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So this wasn’t easy.
In the beginning, because it was anyway so unusual for me to feel this way, I was so guilty. I was feeling guilty of
feeling sad
depleting my energy
thinking negative thoughts
And feeling guilty didn’t help it either.
Every morning, I worked hard with my intense morning routine and spiritual practices to set a positive tone for the day. And I did, except that sadness also had its own time of creeping in.
With time, I realised if I’m not feeling okay, it’s fine. I can’t guilt-trip myself to feel a particular emotion or be hard on myself to feel only good emotions.
I just had to accept it.
I’m feeling something, and that’s all. I’m sad and reactive, and it is what it is.
I now know how meditation helps. It doesn’t take your problems away, but it gives you tools to navigate through those problems better.
The fact that I could recognise my emotion and deal with it wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t mindful or aware of it.
Another reason is that I was letting it pass.
In meditation, you don’t let go of your thoughts. You don’t try hard to not think.
You observe them and come back to your breath. You get carried away, and that’s okay, but you come back to your breath thereafter.
Every time I felt an extreme level of anxiety, I let myself feel it.
When I felt terribly sad, I let myself feel it.
We feel things, that’s what makes us humans.
But working on doing away with it will only take more energy. It’s okay to feel things, even if it’s negative.
It’s okay to embrace what you’re feeling. It makes the journey ahead easier.
When you feel it, there comes a time when you don’t feel it as much.
And then a period when you don’t feel it at all.
Now, you know that these emotions have passed. At least for the time being.
Let it pass.
Your temperament won’t stay that way forever, so give it an opportunity to leave on its own.
Recognise, accept, embrace, and let it pass.
At work, what helps me deal with my highs and lows is knowing this isn’t permanent. Nothing is, you and I aren’t either.
Thinking of impermanence encourages me to spend more time with my family because they’re not there forever, yet it’s so easy to take them for granted.
Your success isn’t there to stay, especially if you take it to your head.
Your failures are temporary challenges which will help you learn and rise better.
Because I’m sensitive, it helps my heart to know every low is impermanent. I’m the kind who cries often and in all movies, so this helps me cry less.
A dash of optimism helps in this process.
It helped me a lot because I consciously tried to
set the tone of my day
tell myself everything will be okay
convince that it’s just a phase not forever
take care of myself by doing what I told you above
All this helped me feel better.
I was still laughing and still having fun.
And when this feeling crept into my mind and body, I knew I had to accept, embrace, let it pass, and know that its impermanent.
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I was taking care of myself because I deserve it.
If you don’t, who will?
I hope these tools can help you when you feel things aren’t going your way. It’s
accept
embrace
let it pass
impermanence
a dash of optimism
Last weekend when I was thinking of what helped me throughout the month, I thought of these elements. If it wasn’t for this, maybe I wouldn’t be able to come out of it as quickly and easily.
But the tools to feel better lay inside us.
Nobody is coming to get you.
Be your own saviour and first love.
Contributed by Niharikaa Kaur Sodhi
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