🌻3 Reasons You’re Not Having the Life & Career You Want

And how to fix that

Sometimes you look at other people’s success and secretly think, “Why is that person living a dream life and I’m stuck where I am for years?”

We realize that we have opportunities. We can get better jobs, start a business, improve our health. But somehow, we can’t make it happen.

If you’re working a job you hate or are trying to change your life and career without much success — then it’s likely because one or all of the following reasons are present in your life.

Read also: My 11 favourite Unconventional life hacks

1. Indecision

If you’re not currently living the life and career you want, it means you need to change something about your approach.

This sounds so obvious and simple, which is why it’s so important. If you want to make a change, you need to keep it simple. If you make everything complex, you will stay right where you are.

As Einstein supposedly said: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

You need to do things differently if you want to live your dreams. And that starts with making and sticking to a decision.

What do you want? Get clear on that and say to yourself, “This is what I want and I’m getting after it. Nothing can stop me.”

Too many people get stuck in what I call the, “let’s see” phase.

While it’s important not to rush major life decisions, we must also accept that we’ll likely never have all the information and preparation we need to decide.

You’ll never know if there are better job opportunities if you don’t make a serious effort to find one.
You’ll never know if your business will succeed until you start.
So make a decision. And start moving. You can always adjust your path. But you can only do that if you start moving.

2. Limiting beliefs

Even after making a decision, some folks still have a hard time executing.

We all see those people who keep swearing they’d start a business or write a book, but never do.

The first step to executing on a decision is to remove one’s limiting beliefs. Things like, “I’m not talented enough,” or “I need more money,” or “I’m too young or too old,” or “I don’t have the time.”

First, acknowledge that your limiting beliefs aren’t entirely your fault. From a young age, we’re all taught about living the “normal” lifestyle: Try not to stand out too much, get good grades in school, apply for a safe job, get married, buy a house.

Simply look at yourself or your friends and you’ll find that too many people are stuck in these conventions.

The root of all this? Fear.

As adults, we all have the deep-seated fear of not doing well enough to survive. This is especially true if your background is not very privileged. For example; I come from a family of immigrants who arrived in The Netherlands to escape a war.

I was just a year old when we landed. And growing up, I saw how hard it was for my parents to make ends meet.

Even when I got older, I still feared that I might not have enough. That’s why financial independence has always been a high priority for me.

But we can’t let this fear take over our lives. If we want to pursue the career and life we truly want, we need to get out of our comfort zones.

We must change our mindset and think, “Why not?” If others can do something, you can too.

3. Trying to take things too big, for too long

Let’s say you want to get in better shape. People with this goal often start out super excited:

They sign up for expensive gym memberships or they buy fancy equipment
They go on strict diets
Sometimes, they even hire professional coaches and dieticians to help them out
They listen to all sorts of fitness podcasts and shows, and so forth
While these actions are fine, it’s not uncommon to see these same people revert to their old, unhealthy habits within a matter of weeks or months.

This pattern is visible in all parts of life. Trying to chase after a personal goal often fires us up at the start. And then we lose steam midway.

The key to getting out of this cycle? Start small. And focus on consistency over everything else.

If you want to get in better shape, don’t sign up for that expensive gym with a sauna and start eating with a meal plan. At least, not immediately.

Instead, do something closer to your lifestyle: Replace your unhealthy food with a plate of greens at least once a day. Take a walk every day, even just for 15 minutes. And do what you can to ensure you have enough hours of sleep at night.

These are small, almost “unambitious” things. But when you do them consistently for longer periods, you’re more likely to achieve them.

Once you’ve built this foundation of good habits, you can go for bigger goals: Running a marathon, gaining six-pack abs, etc.

Read also: 7 skills that help you reach you full potential

The important thing is to integrate healthier habits into your lifestyle.

A fulfilling life demands change

Life requires adaptation. Clinging to comfort and familiarity will only leave you stagnant.

Making a major change in your life means taking risks, letting go of beliefs and systems that no longer work, and getting out of your comfort zone.

Too many people are scared of doing that. So they stay in lives they don’t really like. But success is all about experiencing life, not enduring it. Our time on this planet is just too precious to waste. As Seneca says:

“It is not that we have so little time but that we lose so much. … The life we receive is not short but we make it so; we are not ill provided but use what we have wastefully.”

Even if you failed, wouldn’t it be better knowing that you tried?

Contributed by Darius Foroux

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