And how to build them in under 30 days.
What you do every day determines what kind of man you will be.
Good routines will boost the quality of your life like Dom Toretto his car when he pushes the NOS button in The Fast & The Furious. It’s why bestselling author James Clear calls habits the “compound interest of self-improvement.”
While sporadic actions make you feel good for a short time, they won’t bring meaningful change.
One healthy meal won’t give you a sixpack
Reading a few pages on the weekend won’t give you life-changing knowledge
Writing a relationship journal once won’t solve your problems
If you want to become the man you dream of being, your best bet is to establish the right habits — here are six I’ve tried and tested.
Harness Your Sexual Energy and Use It for Something Productive
“We gain the strength of the temptation we resist.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every time you masturbate, you give 100 million unborn kids a theme park ride through the local drainage system and flush your sexual energy with them.
I used to be a chronic masturbator and watch porn multiple times a day. What started as a natural urge turned into a toxic habit that drained my energy and messed with my sex life. Then, I committed to nofap — in other words, no self-made orgasms.
My energy and drive went through the roof like rockets in a burning firecracker factory
My confidence improved drastically
My sex drive increased and I enjoyed the horizontal tango and physical sensations much more
Many other men I’ve spoken to report the same.
When you feel the urge, use your sexual energy to do something productive instead.
Try this habit if:
You never tried it (it’s one of the things you have to experience at least once in your life)
You want insane amounts of energy, drive, and motivation
You watch porn and masturbate frequently
Learn To Understand What You Already Know
“Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.”
— Christina Baldwin
Putting thoughts into words wipes the fog of your mental glasses.
I’ve been journaling for over three years, and it has saved me from taking the wrong path many times.
Most of your thoughts only exist deep in your subconscious. If you journal every day for a month, you will bring them to the surface and know much more about yourself than before.
This knowledge is power. It will help you make the right decisions instead of acting on a whim and regretting it. But staring at a blank page is intimidating — so how do you get started?
There are two simple methods I use:
Answer specific questions. These give you a great, everyday framework for putting your thoughts in order.
Stream of consciousness. When you’ve got a specific issue that bugs you but you’ve hit a wall, write down what comes to mind. The key is not to judge your thoughts or aim for anything specific — just let the words flow. Get a page or two deep, and you’ll have new insights, guaranteed.
Written words uncover your true thoughts.
Try this habit if:
You want more clarity and order in your thoughts
You feel unhappy but don’t know why or what to do about it
You hit the same walls again and again
Strengthen Your Mind and Body at the Same Time
“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
You have raw, masculine power inside of you — but most men never realize it.
Instead, they hug the couch after work, crack open a beer, and let their potential go to waste.
I’ve worked out for over ten years, and the regular gym sessions have given me much more than a jacked body.
They taught me discipline, structure, and commitment, the basic pillars of true freedom.
They are free therapy sessions. Sometimes, shit has to hit the fan, and lifting weights is a healthy outlet for aggression.
They are a great way to connect with like-minded, growth-focused men. Some of my best friendships have started with a simple “can you spot me on this exercise real quick?”
They skyrocketed my energy and drive. The human body is paradoxical — movement creates energy.
As a cherry on top, regular workouts also boost testosterone — and who wouldn’t want more of that?
Working out will change your life and help you tap into your raw, masculine power.
Try this habit if:
You feel lazy, drained, unmotivated, and lack drive
You don’t like what you see when you look at yourself in the mirror naked
You want to tap into your raw, masculine power
Turn Yourself Into a Powerful Bastion of Calm
“The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.”
— Marcus Aurelius
Panic, confusion, and anger get you nowhere. They only make difficult situations worse by stressing you out.
I used to be a hot-headed nuclear bomb with a short fuse. Stress was my drug and once I was high, I couldn’t stop. The results were grey hairs and failed relationships.
Daily meditation has turned me into a bastion of calm. You can achieve the same, so you perform better in:
High-stake meetings at work
Difficult talks with your partner
Lessons you teach your kids
All you need is a simple meditation habit. I’ve found the best method for beginners is a body scan. Close your eyes and focus your awareness on the small area between your lips and nose, then let it wander through your body.
Keep these tips in mind:
You don’t have to “achieve” anything. The essence of meditation is accepting and being in the present moment as it is.
Don’t try not to think. If thoughts come up, let them be and go. The goal is to increase the time between them.
Try different times of the day — some people prefer mornings, others evenings.
Anger is weakness; calm is power.
Try this habit if:
You have anxiety or stress out in difficult situations
You want to stay calm no matter what life throws at you
You want to improve your ability to focus on a task for hours so you can become more productive
Feel Fulfilled and Get More Out of Life
“Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have.”
— Jim Rohn
Most men approach life with a “what’s in it for me?” mentality.
It’s natural because human beings are egoistic by nature — but that’s not how life works. If you’re always on the lookout for what you can take…
Others will resent you
You’ll get stuck in a game of endless chasing
You won’t be happy because you’ll never have enough
Instead, flip the script and focus on giving. Contribution to something bigger than yourself is one of the biggest factors of a fulfilled life and, therefore, essential for your mental well-being. So, ask yourself:
“What can I give?”
A smile to a stranger
A dollar to a homeless person
A “how are you?” text to a friend who’s having a rough time
A few words of appreciation for your coworker
A helping hand to your wife or children
Once I focused on giving instead of taking, my life skyrocketed. I got more clients, benefits, and love than I could handle. And you can get the same.
Give, and life will give back.
Try this habit if:
You feel like your life lacks meaning
You feel insignificant and want to make a difference in the world
You seem never to have enough
Do “Niksen” To Boost Your Creativity, Productivity, and Happiness
“Sometimes sitting and doing nothing is the best something you can do.”
— Karen Salmansohn
When was the last time you did nothing?
We live in a hyperactive world. Netflix, work emails, and buzzing smartphones. Juggling a career, family, and personal growth at the same time is hard. Doing nothing will improve your hectic life in many ways.
It boosts your creativity and problem-solving skills. Research by the University of Lancashire shows the benefits of seeking out boredom.
It makes you happier. Psychoanalyst Manfred Kets de Vries says, “busyness can be a very effective defense mechanism for warding off disturbing thoughts and feelings.” Face them instead so you can improve your life.
It makes you more productive. This sounds crazy, but consultancy Ernst & Young found workers get 8% more done for every ten hours of vacation. A well-rested mind is a productive one.
Every Sunday, I block one hour to sit on my porch with a pen and paper, do nothing, and let my subconscious bring up whatever it wants to.
The Dutch, one of the happiest people in the world, call this practice Niksen.
Self-improvement doesn’t get any easier.
Try this habit if:
You’re constantly busy and always have something going on
You rarely take time for yourself
You want an easy way to find solutions to your problems
Read also: 7 life lessons people learn too late in life
How To Easily Build a New Habit in 30 Days
Building habits is easy if you know how to but a nightmare if you don’t.
From years of experience with myself and coaching others, here are four helpful tips.
Start small. You have to get in your reps, so make it easy for yourself and increase the challenge over time. One minute of meditation. One small deed a day. Twenty minutes of working out or doing nothing. Standardize before you optimize.
Use your environment. Your surroundings have a huge influence on you. Set alarms, write post-it notes, and put your journal on your nightstand. Make the cues obvious and the behaviors will follow.
Never miss twice. You’re a human, not a robot. It’s fine to mess up — but if you do, make sure you follow through the next day.
Track and reward yourself. This will make your brain release dopamine, a reward hormone that makes you happy and reinforces new behaviors. Get a calendar and draw an “X” for every successful day. Buy a nice dinner as a reward for seven days in a row. Condition yourself into the right behaviors.
Now you know how to build a habit — all that’s left is to choose one that will benefit you most from this list:
Stop masturbating and use your energy productively instead.
Journal to increase your self-awareness and see clearly.
Work out to make your mind and body strong.
Meditate to stay calm in even the toughest situations.
Give without expecting anything, this is where you’ll find fulfilment and meaning.
Do nothing intentionally to boost your creativity, productivity, and happiness.
Get to work — you are what you repeatedly do.
Learn how to drop your bad habits and build great ones with these 10 proven techniques.
Contributed by Moreno Zugaro
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