🌻If You’re in Your 30s and Feel Stuck, Read This


The first step to finding yourself is to forgive yourself for getting lost in the first place.

You know, it’s a scary moment when you do something totally out of character and you’ve got no idea where it came from.


You pause, you look back, and you realize that, somewhere along the way, you’ve lost yourself and you don’t know where you are or how to get back.

Sometimes we lose ourselves because we get a new partner whose personality is STRONGER than ours.
Sometimes we lose ourselves because we’ve taken on a demanding job that takes up MOST of our time, and when we get home, we’re TOO exhausted to do the things we used to love.
Sometimes we lose ourselves because we want to live our life a certain way and society doesn’t deem that way acceptable… SO WE DON’T.
Whatever happened, there may come a point where you look back and you can’t even remember when was the last time you felt like YOU.

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Who are you?

How can you find yourself again?

Readers, you will benefit so much from reading and thinking about these ideas and how you can apply them to YOUR life.

You know, most people don’t realize how far they’ve strayed from the things that ground them.

Often, we’re just unhappy and we feel heavy, but we don’t know WHY?!

We feel tired all the time no matter how much sleep we get.

We feel like work and socializing are just too much.

It’s as if you’re on the brink of BURNOUT.

And while burnout has more to do with stretching yourself too thin, losing yourself is about focusing on things that don’t bring you joy.

And it might be hard to think of how what brings you joy now… but think back to when you were a child.

As children, we don’t have to face the pressures of adult life, and even for those mature children who DO realize that once they grow up life can get pretty stressful — well — they’ve got the time and the freedom to do what they want.

As a child — at some point — you have to answer to your parents but you also have MORE freedom to do what you genuinely enjoy without inhibitions and stress.

You’re NOT as worried about what other people will think of you.

You’re NOT worried about how good or bad you are in something.

You want to spend the entire weekend reading your new book? Go ahead!
You wanna play soccer with your friends? Do it!
You wanna climb up a tree all by yourself and spend ten hours there? Nothing weird about that!
You want to try a new sport every week? Have fun cham!
You want some art classes in the afternoon, volleyball in the evening, do your homework in between and see your friends? Well, you know the answer by now!
Your life is filled with the things you want to do.

You avoid an existential crisis not just because it doesn’t cross your mind at that age, but also because you’re so busy doing the things you love that you feel and live life rather than just running to keep up with it.

As we get older and we are conditioned to conform to certain rules and society, we erode that sense of enjoyment. If we don’t maintain snippets of it as we get older, it becomes easier to lose all of it.

Readers, if any of this has resonated with you, just PAUSE for a moment and take a few deep breaths…

The truth is, you’re going to be OKAY eventually.

You’re going to have to do some work to find yourself again.

You’ll have to get uncomfortable.

You’ll have to try things that you’ve been AVOIDING.

To put it this way, you only got two choices with this:

You either take the steps today to turn things around, or
You continue living your life feeling like you’re someone else.
So, if you can do the latter and still be okay and happy — then sure — go ahead.

But don’t be AFRAID to rediscover yourself.

First, you have to realize that your identity is fluid, not fixed.

That it will change over time.

Your interests will change and your hobbies will evolve because we’re so busy during the transition periods when our identities go through the most change — like going to college, graduating, starting your first job, or starting a family.

We often change WITHOUT our control or even our awareness.

Losing ourselves is kind of a part of life.

It’s impossible to go through all of these changes and stay completely true to who you are at all times.

There are going to be some blurred lines on occasion.

So, your priority is landing on your feet as you start the next phase of your life.

It’s natural that some parts of you will take a back seat sometimes.

The first step to finding yourself is to forgive yourself for getting lost in the first place.

The MORE you focus on what you did wrong and how far you’ve gone off track, the MORE energy you’re putting into bringing yourself down.

Because look, you don’t need anymore of that, do you?

Let’s take two experiential themes…

Bodily Self: First, there’s our bodily self. Our body represents our first-hand experiences of the world. It’s the connection between you and the world around you. It’s the vessel you use to interact with people and your surroundings. So, when you lose your sense of self, you may sometimes feel like you’re removed from your body too. You can have a conversation with someone and keep talking to them, but you cut no idea what you’ve said, it’s like you’re on autopilot now.
Narrative Self: The second theme of self is the narrative self. This is the part of ourselves that creates a life and a story out of our experiences, relationships, goals, values, and history.
So, to find yourself again, you have to connect with both themes — your bodily self and your narrative self.

This might sound kind of wacky, but —

To find yourself, you have to train to fail.

In weightlifting, when you train to fail, you select a weight that is heavy enough for your last rep to be your absolute max. You still have to be able to complete it, but it should be a struggle.

Read also: 7 life lessons people learn too late in life


Training to fail for the bodily sense of self is easier.

Running, weightlifting, yoga, and any form of physical exercise that pushes you out of your comfort zone will help you to realize exactly what you can do with your body, and when you feel connected to the feeling of pushing yourself to your breaking point, you begin to realize precisely what you’re capable of and often it’s a lot more than you thought.

Exercise is the SUREST way to connect with your bodily self.

It makes you feel alive and like you’re part of this world.

You don’t have to do it to build muscle, to lose weight, to get lean, or whatever people say.

We have to do it because movement is a part of our DNA.

Resisting this goes against your innate nature.

Connecting with your narrative sense of self is a little bit harder, but you can still train to fail.

You’d have to take on activities that you love before, activities you tried and hated that you’ve never tried, but you think you would be good at.

Any activity that’s crossed your mind deserves a little time and attention, and from there, you can see what you enjoy.

Sometimes you’ll be LUCKY enough to love something you’re terrible at, even when you first try it, and that is awesome.

Imagine how much you’ll love it once you put in some practice and work?

If you’re not good at setting boundaries with people, you’re always saying yes, helping them out, and loaning people money — well — then your goal is to learn how to set these boundaries.

If you’re always putting up walls, if you’re always avoiding social interactions, and you don’t want to get close to anyone — well — then you have to start saying “yes” more often.

Where you are now and the things you’re doing aren’t living up to what you want to be.

Our identity isn’t TOTALLY tied to the things we do, but it’s tied to the things we love and to find out who you are and what you stand for, you have to start with the things you love.

You’ve to see this as a fun journey of self-discovery instead of a point where you lost yourself — that shift in perspective makes ALL the difference.

Contributed by Entrepreneuria

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