Here are some less-talked-about traits about successful people, which have informed my own successes:

They spend less time ruminating on setbacks.

Most people make their lives far harder than it needs to be by spending considerable chunks of time in their thoughts.

This won’t bring the intended benefits. In fact, we make ourselves feel considerably worse through worry.

This destroys our focus and the performance needed for taking action and making an impact.

Train yourself to recover from setbacks by getting back into motion quickly.

Read also: 7 signs you are doing well and your life is going great

Consume what few consume.

If you’re reading what 95% of your colleagues or peers are reading, you’re doing the opposite of differentiation.

This applies to experiences too.

Being and thinking more like anyone else makes it harder to compete and stand out.

Read and consume what most others are not. Success isn’t about fitting in.

You want to do everything you can to bring value in a way no one else can match.

Developed sexual restraint.

Sex, as fun as it is, and as much as many of us want to deny it — presents a significant drain on our energy, time and attention.

This can be otherwise redirected to the necessary work needed to create and sustain success in other areas.

Yes, have your sexual needs met, but most of us indulge too heavily.

Orgasm leads to a dopamine dip for several hours — even days, which lowers motivation.

Few remember people for their prolific sexual history.

Successful people understand the power of sexual energy and direct most of it to create remarkable things.

Provocative.

Those who go far rarely set out to be liked by everyone.

They prioritise creating polarity in their audience.

This means that many people who come across what they share will dislike what they stand for.

This also means that — over time- they collect a group of highly loyal supporters too.

It’s easier to make an impact with those who love you than with those who merely like you.

Work when others are chilling.

Successful people often have a powerful purpose that makes it a no-brainer for them to turn down invites and offers from others to ‘stop working so hard and come and join us.’

This needn’t mean being anti-social, especially when social engagements offer new forms of social capital opportunities.

So, this takes awareness — a lot of which will point to the need to exert boundaries on meetings that hold you back from making ground in pursuit of your goals.

When they’re partying, you’re creating momentum.

Problem-centric.

Successful people don’t become successful by avoiding problems.

Problem-avoidance and comfort-seeking is for the general masses who are satisfied with a vanilla existence.

You will have problems no matter what you do, so find them, seek ways to solve them, and focus on the BIG problems.

More attuned to criticism than praise.

People who don’t get very far are the same people preaching the need to ignore criticism and take note of the praise you receive.

Not the super successful.

They get worried when no one is criticising them. And they take careful notes when they do.

They’re more interested in negative reviews than glowing ones because there is always at least a grain of truth in what the haters say.

Read also: Mastering productivity: How to get more done in less time

Unreasonably focused.

The super successful are rarely described as ‘normal.’

They often received criticism about being unreasonable, overly obsessed with their work, ‘over the top,’ and unable to create balance.

If you’re doing what appears ‘unreasonable’ to most and bringing more attention to fewer points of focus than most, you’re on the right track.

When most people give up or change track, you’re relentlessly showing up repeatedly, even when it gets boring.

Even when it’s the last thing you want to do.

This is how you win.

Contributed by Alex Mathers

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