7 will bring you peace of mind, too.
The best questions all have one thing in common.
Answering them hurts.
“The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off.”
— Gloria Steinem
Read also: 8 money lessons I learned from the best finance and business books (classic)
Nobody likes uncomfortable questions, but without them, you often waste time and energy because you get stuck or run in the wrong direction. Face discomfort now and save yourself from pain down the line.
1: “What’s One Thing I Do Almost Daily That’s Holding Me Back the Most?”
The biggest obstacles are often the smallest ones.
I used to check my phone in the morning right after I woke up. Messages, notifications, emails. Instead of focusing on my goals, I distracted myself as soon as I opened my eyes.
The smallest vice can hold you back a lot if it accumulates — cut it.
2: “What’s Something I Should’ve Done Long Ago but Keep Avoiding?”
In 99% of cases, you know exactly what you have to do.
We know we should sign up for the gym, have that talk with our spouse, or finally quit porn, eat healthily, and look for a new job.
But big changes are scary, so we procrastinate and find reasons why the time isn’t right.
There will never be a right time — do now what you should’ve done long ago.
3: “If I Were To Die Tomorrow, What Would I Regret Not Having Done?”
This question is a great proxy for inner peace and happiness.
It also helps you not lose sight of the important things — reconciling with your parents, going on that world trip you always wanted to, and forgiving yourself and others.
Life is short, make sure you don’t miss it.
4: “Which Character Trait Holds Me Back the Most or Makes My Life the Hardest?”
“Just be yourself” is bullshit advice.
A few years back, I was a “my way or the highway” guy and wouldn’t compromise. No wonder my relationships often hit a wall.
Your character isn’t set in stone — and if you hold yourself back, it’s time to become a different self.
5: “What Area of My Life Needs Improvement the Most and What’s the Next Small Step I Can Take?”
It only takes one drop of ink to ruin a beautiful painting.
When my business was rolling but my relationships were in the dumps, I wasn’t happy — and the other way around.
Once you’ve identified the stone in your shoe, just focus on the next small step — this will make it easy to act.
Drop the resistance and improve what matters.
6: “What Skill Would Massively Improve My Life If I Developed It?”
A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
No matter how good I was at writing or on dates with attractive girls, a weak headline game and approach anxiety stalled my success with both.
Drill down on your weak point — it will make everything better.
7: “What Can I Not Change but Refuse To Accept?”
If you keep hitting the same wall, acceptance is the first step to improvement.
When my coaching business stalled no matter what I tried, the solution was right in front of me — kill it and focus on writing full-time. But it took me half a year to accept that I wasted my efforts. Once I did, my results took off.
Accept what is, change what you can.
8: “What’s My Go-To Coping Mechanism and How Can I Replace It With Something Healthier?”
Coping mechanisms are fine — until they aren’t.
My Friday evening blunts quickly turned into massive weed hauls from local dealers to fuel my habit. Today, I’ve replaced them with meditation. It calms me without the side effects.
There’s always a healthier alternative — use it.
Read also: Six steps to obtaining financial freedom (amazing wisdom)
9: “Which Past Events Do I Hold Onto That Hold Me Back?”
Catching a monkey is easy.
Native African tribes drill a hole into a rock, fill it with peanuts, and wait for a monkey to come along and put his hand into it. When he grabs the treat, he gets stuck because the opening is too small for a clenched monkey first. He panics and holds on even harder instead of running away.
We are like that monkey sometimes — holding on to past events and letting them dictate our present behavior. Let go. I know you think it’s unfair, you want to have the last word, and you’ve made mistakes you regret, yadda yadda yadda.
Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Let go.
That’s how you grow.
Develop unshakable masculine confidence with these 5 proven habits.
Contributed by Moreno Zugaro
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