3 is all the motivation you’ll ever need.

Pain is good.

It makes you grow. The heart wrecking breakup, failed business, and friends who betrayed you all taught you valuable lessons. They are what gets you far, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

“It is often your deepest pain which empowers you to grow to your highest self.”

― Karen Salmonsohn

Learn from the brutal truths life has taught me so you don’t have to make the same mistakes.

Read also: 7 essential life lessons you can learn from failure (must read)

Humans Are Superficial And Will Always Be

Being superficial has a bad rep.

People say you should prioritize inner values over looks, status, and money. Sure, that would be nice. The world would be a better place if we chose presidents by competence, celebrities by humanitarian impact, and life partners by how healthy they are for us.

But that’s not how humans work.

Evolution primed us for superficial indicators. People treat me differently since I started working out. I get more respect, attraction, and attention, just because of my broad shoulders and big arms. Call it unfair, but that’s how life works — and there are two ways to go about it.

Either you complain about superficial people who don’t see your inner values and judge the book by its cover. This is a victim mentality.

Or you accept the rules of the game and play them in your favor.

Dress well. Work out. Carry yourself with dignity and radiate confidence.

You’ll get more opportunities to show your true self once you score on the superficial.

What You Want Doesn’t Matter, This Does

Everybody wants to be rich, good-looking, and smart, but very few make it — why?

People want results instead of efforts. They crave chiseled abs, not sweat-breaking gym sessions. Big bank, not late hours at the office. Knowledge, not reading while everybody’s partying. They never get to the end of the path because they don’t want to walk it.

Even worse, we’re often oblivious to it.

I live an amazing life right now — digital nomading on tropical islands, making money doing what I love, dipping in the pool, or strolling the beach during lunchtime.

Many of my old friends envy me. “I wish I could do that.” But their eyes widen when I give them the cold, harsh reality.

Life doesn’t care what you want.

It cares if you put in 80-hour weeks to grow your business, keep going despite everyone calling you crazy, and handle flight ticket cancellations, catfish Airbnbs, and tropical stomach bugs.

Ask yourself if you want the effort, not just the results.

If you don’t, you’ll never get there, no matter how much you dream, wish, and plan.

But if you do, nothing can stop you.

This Is All The Motivation You’ll Ever Need

Most people don’t understand death.

They think it happens at the end of your life. Slow decay. Hospital visits. A chestnut-colored coffin. Goodbye grandpa, thank you for everything. But that’s only half the story.

The other half is that you die every day.

“This is our big mistake, to think we look forward to death; most of death is already gone, whatever time has passed is owned by death”

— Seneca

Once you understand that, it shifts your thinking. You stop wasting your time on meaningless pursuits because you realize you pay with your life. It’s hard to stomach, I know.

But that doesn’t change the harsh truth underneath.

You will never get those moments back.

You die every day, so don’t waste your time.

You Choose To Be Where You Are (Hate Me, But It’s True)

You are where you are because you want to be there.

You accept the low wage, the people who don’t treat you well, and the marshmallow body that stares back at you from the mirror because if you didn’t, you would already have changed.

“But I don’t have a choice — I need the job, these are the best friends I can get, and I already watch what I eat!”

I’ve lived with an amazing woman this year. She was born into extreme scarcity — zero money, eating once a day, absent father, stealing books from the library, and daily abuse instead of love from her mother. Today, she runs a successful business, has processed her trauma, and started hitting the gym.

Don’t tell me you don’t have a choice.

But change will not happen by itself. Things won’t “work out somehow.” Nothing works unless you do.

Quit the job. Ditch the friends. Hit the gym.

Every day, you make a choice.

Life Is A Competition, So Play Accordingly

This one is contrary to popular belief and most feel-good literature — but it’s true.

Life is a competition.

A few years ago, I competed in a bodybuilding championship. I counted calories, hit the gym six times a week, and spent my weekends watching training videos and meal-prepping. I gave it my all and everything and didn’t go off track even once. It was excruciating, but I was determined. When I came in far from the top placements, my dad told me something I will never forget.

“Everybody wants to win and gives their best. But there can only be one winner.”

We compete for everything because we all want the best we can get. Hot dates, a nice apartment, and a high-paying job — there are hundreds of people who want them. Only some will make it.

The sooner you understand this, the better.

Whatever you want, think about who competes for it — and how you can master the game.

That’s how you win.

You Can Do Your Absolute Best And Still Fail

We think we have a decent amount of control over our lives.

We don’t. There are too many external factors like timing, politics, weather, bat viruses, other people, random events, and plain luck. Doing your best doesn’t guarantee success.

When I built my coaching business, I quickly stalled after the first few successes. I spent six months working 70+ hours a week with an experienced coach who told me I was doing everything right. Zero results.

“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.”

— Jean-Luc Picard in Star Trek

Don’t beat yourself up if it didn’t work out. Failing at a relationship, business, or goal you gave your all is tough. Don’t let it crush you.

Today, I run an amazing writing business — everything came as it was supposed to be.

Do your best. Fail. Do your best again.

It’s the only thing that matters.

Words Without Action Are Worth Less Than a Zimbabwe Dollar

Read also: 3 some practices that will help you solve 95% of your problems

Talk is cheap for a reason.

Everybody can say things. “I won’t watch porn anymore. I’ll get up early tomorrow. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” Yeah, right.

I’ve learned the hard way to look at what others do instead of what they say they’re gonna do. Words without action are just manipulation. We often overlook that because the truth hurts too much and it’s too easy to fall for the sweet nothings.

We cling to every little piece of verbal hope someone throws at us because we’re optimists who want to believe.

But if you want to know someone, watch their actions, not their words.

Develop unshakable masculine confidence with these 5 proven habits.

Contributed by Moreno Zugaro

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