Qualities that’ll give you charisma on command
A resume can only take you so far.
But it’s the kind of person you are, the impression you leave with people that separates you from the crowd. People skills, like any skill, hard or soft, can be worked at and improved. Once learned, they’ll continue to reward you.
Here are the 8 people skills that pay off forever:
1 — Being socially assertive
If you don’t protect your space, you’ll be swallowed alive.
People who are socially assertive aren’t assholes. They just know priority. Learning to be assertive means that you’re able to spend your energy in the right ways, giving you enough to keep for yourself after a long day of work.
Developing your confidence and assertiveness gives you more control, especially when you practice saying “no.”
“In school as in life, having a reputation for being assertive will help you receive preferential treatment without having to beg or fight for it every time.” — Tim Ferriss
2 — Creating a memorable presence
This isn’t about gimmicks, although those can be fun.
Memorable people find it easy to create and sustain connections with others. So long as you present yourself in an authentic way, people will be drawn to you. There is no need to peacock.
Being memorable creates a space for evergreen opportunities.
3 — Speaking effectively
Being a master communicator is everything.
Conversations. Deals. The ability to tell clear ideas to others helps save time and increases your workflow and social efficiency.
Sometimes a slow burn conversation is best, but knowing how to play your conversational cards right will benefit you over and over again.
4 — Sustaining your confidence
Confident people hold themselves with the air that insecure people are jealous of.
Anxiety and insecure feelings are a natural part of life. But it’s what we do about those feelings that separate the rich and powerful from the average Joe. The easiest way to build confidence is by practicing in public, building more over time as your actions continuously reaffirm the identity you wish to become.
Confidence doesn’t have to be loud, but it should be real.
“Do the work. Everybody wants to be successful but nobody wants to do the work.” — Gary Vaynerchuk
5 — Being an expert conversationalist
Good conversationalists will carry a talk from point A to point Z.
Great conversationalists will do the same, with the added aura of making people feel truly heard and desired. Expert conversationalists have mastered the art of engaging with people in memorable ways and are able to carry a conversation in any direction.
They also use conversation as a tool to get anything they want.
6 — Being likable
We’re biologically wired to kick the weirdos and unlikable people from our social groups.
Small gestures go a long way. Being likable isn’t about being attractive, it’s about being able to establish a connection with the majority of people you interact with. And about not being rude, whiny, and boring.
Likable people like themselves first, having developed their ideal and actual identities to be aligned.
7 — Being exceptional at decoding emotions
Reading the room isn’t just for stand-up comedians.
Empathy and intuition are the pillars of emotional intelligence. Being able to quickly get a read on people’s emotions and intentions can save time, energy, and stress. One time, I avoided getting scammed by a businessman because I felt he had ulterior motives.
Turns out, he did.
8 — Being an influential leader
Being a good leader in social life means that you can bring people together with a sense of belonging and comradery.
Reading Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering changed the way I see hosting. No matter the social event, guests will look to the host to be governed, gently but firmly. Leading is about knowing where you’re going.
So long as your sightlines are clear, people will follow you with equal conviction.
Being more assertive helps protect against people pushing you over
Being memorable means infinite future opportunity
Efficient use of language is a must
Confidence is built over time, so long as you work at it
Expert conversationalists use speech as a tool for networking and wealth building
Being likable to others starts with you
Empathy and intuition require a keen ear and eyes
Leading means governance, even at house parties
More value for you — Learn the four soft skills that pay off forever here. Skills beyond knowing how to deal with people that can elevate your life.
Even more value for you — Learn about the four hard skills that payoff forever here. Yes, this is becoming a bit of a series now!
Contributed by Justin Boyette
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