Be your own friend, philosopher and guide

Pieces of advice to give to your current self

It’s easy to advise others, and we all do. Passing our words of wisdom to friends, family members, colleagues, and even random people is a common thing. But, how many of us direct those valuable pearls towards ourselves?

Evidently, very few.

Most people look up to others and wish someone could offer them advice on how to live life, navigate all that gets thrown their way, and what to make of their life journey.

You don’t need anyone from the outside to guide you. You have the ability and the capability to play that role for yourself and become your best friend, philosopher, and guide.

Despite the common belief that you cannot be objective with yourself, the truth is that you can zoom out of your life, view yourself from a perspective, and speak to yourself.

Everyone accumulates wisdom through life’s experiences which you can process with the knowledge of hindsight and use for your benefit. This sage advice can significantly improve your mental health and well-being and help you live your best life.

Here are four pieces of advice you can give yourself based on the key learnings from your life thus far.

Read also: 5 simple self care habits for your daily routine

1. You’re doing good in life

Life’s journey is no easy ride. Each person has their share of troubles and lucky breaks, gets to enjoy good times and also endures hard times.

You have seen your difficulties, grappled with problems, crossed the hurdles, fought your own battles, and have come this far. This in itself is a remarkable feat.

So don’t be harsh on yourself. Stop judging yourself and beating yourself up for small things. Instead, focus on your good work and draw happiness from your daily wins. You’re working towards your goals, making progress each day, and that’s commendable. Pat yourself on the back and boost your morale.

You are unique, and so is your journey in life. You’ll do things at your own pace, and hence there’s no room for comparisons whatsoever. Let go of comparisons and spare yourself the agony of measuring up to others.

Your life is beautiful, you’re doing fine, and there’s so much to celebrate. Focus on what’s going right and let what’s not under your control fade away in the background.

Be proud that you are a fighter and you’ve never given up despite the odds being against you. You have made the best of what you had and survived all the challenging times you experienced.

2. Striving for perfection will only stress you up

When you chase perfection, you raise the bar too high for yourself, set stringent parameters to judge your performance, practice zero tolerance for mistakes, and don’t allow yourself any leeway whatsoever. Such unrealistic standards are not humanly possible, and you’re aware of that at the subconscious level.

Telling yourself false stories like the more you stretch yourself, the better you will fair, and the greater the pressure on you, the higher you’ll rise rarely translate into positive results. They do you more harm than good.

Trying too hard and chasing perfection not only causes anxiety and stress in your life but also robs you of the joy of going through the process of achieving your goals.

When you run behind perfection, all you do is pressurize yourself and push yourself harder, and when, at the end of all the labor and toil, you don’t touch the high standards, you feel demoralized and frustrated.

The perfectionist in you will never be satisfied with the level of information, knowledge, and expertise you acquire. You’ll always want to better yourself before thinking of yourself as capable of doing things perfectly.

A typical scenario for a perfectionist is that the feeling that you need more preparation, improvement, and research makes you stuck in the status quo. You’re unable to move forward and make any progress.

Instead of giving yourself unrealistic standards, look at your work positively. Focus on increasing the quality of your performance by paying attention to details, laying stress on becoming meticulous, and working diligently.

Once you make that shift in your mindset, you’ll begin to appreciate your efforts and will feel happy that you’re giving your best at everything you do. This will keep you relaxed during work and enable you to live a contented life.

Read also: 10 habits to become more productive in life

3. Cut out other people’s drama from your life

People you choose to surround yourself with significantly influence your life. If you have negative people in your inner circle, who are often emotionally charged, are fond of high-intensity drama, and make every small issue a big thing, you’ll always find yourself amid chaos, being barraged by other people’s drama.

Encouraging others to open up and share their feelings with you is an open invitation for trouble. Your inability to say no and draw the line will come back to bite you sooner or later and create misery in your life.

People won’t think twice before pulling you into their mess and pouring out their pool of issues on you, destroying your concentration and ruining your peace of mind.

This will not only drag you into their personal affairs and overwhelm you now and then but what’s worrisome is that you’ll be defocused from your priorities and side-tracked from your goals.

No matter how close people are to you, don’t allow anyone to take you for granted and use you as their emotional dump. You must be proactive and take the initiative to set your boundaries.

Drawing personal boundaries will show that you respect your space and send a strong message to others, not to take advantage of your kindness and unload the burden of their problems on you.

4. Never forget, it’s about the journey, not the destination

Everyone is busy in their life pursuing something, from life goals to material things to power and fame. But most people get so engrossed in the chase that they lose sense of themselves.

Stressing, worrying, and running at a frantic pace to get ahead of others and win the game of life is not worth it. But people only realize this when they’re at the fag end of life, and it’s too late to make amends.

Never lose sight of the bigger picture and forget what your life is about. The joy of living a good life is in the process, the learning is in each step you take in the positive direction, and a sense of accomplishment comes when you win your daily battles.

Life is happening now; the only real thing is the present moment. How much value you can create, how many lives you can touch, and how closely bonded you are with your loved ones are seemingly small things that, in the long run, become increasingly significant and go on to make all the difference in your life.

The hard truth of life is that one day the show has to end, and the curtain will fall. We all will eventually perish. It won’t matter then how much wealth you accumulated, how high your status was or how much social prestige you earned. All that you will yearn for is a life of gratification and bliss.

So stop rushing every moment, eager and impatient, to reach the top of the ladder of success. Enjoy living your life each day, savor the small things that touch your heart, and spend quality time with those who matter to you the most so that when the time comes, you can look back on your life, smile with contentment, and say to yourself that you lived your life to the fullest.

Read also: 16 hard truths that make us stronger (read this often)

In Conclusion

Words are impactful. Things that you say to yourself and the advice you give to yourself has the power to change your thinking, put you in a positive frame of mind, and even change the course of your life.

You are the one person who knows yourself the best. If you pay attention to yourself by understanding and connecting deep within, you’ll have a clear vision of your life journey and what you’ve been through till now.

So do some self-reflection and engage in introspection. This self-examination and contemplation will help you develop insight into your life, pick up valuable life lessons and use them as pieces of advice to guide you on your life journey.

CONTRIBUTED BY Dr. Roopleen

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