5 Subtle Signs That You Are Destroying Your Life
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
Five Subtle Signs That You Are Destroying Your Life — A man cutting the branch he is sitting on.
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Plato famously said, ‘Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.’ So if you want to see and experience the beauty of life, you must develop the eyes for it. But how do we have such eyes when our eyes very often get clouded with various things?
Most of us see life as it is described to us. We are told that life is full of struggle, and we must prepare for it. We are told that the only thing that makes life worth living is money. So we go to college and study hard — not to explore the subject but to earn a degree — so that we may have a job that brings us more money than others.
We have an abstract idea called a career. We work our ass off and build a career, believing that it will upgrade our status and makes us happy. It promises that we will marry the most beautiful lady, have cute children, and live happily ever after.
We believe the stories we are told and start our rat-race for money and career without giving it a second thought. We choose the subjects that have the best demands in the market. We earn a degree and then search for a job that pays well.
Adventurous ones among us start their businesses to earn even more. We say we are creating value. But what it really means is we dream of being a millionaire, and we can do anything for that. Sadly, we forget the reason behind our desire.
We run a rat-race for more — more than our competitors, more than our neighbors, more than anyone else. Thus, our blind-race for more destroys the possibility of having a beautiful and happy life.
We trade happiness and peace for money and materials and ruin our golden time being a blind money-making machine. Why not give a second thought? Why not observe the signs that tell us to pause and think deeply about where we are heading?
Blaise Pascal suggests — ‘All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.’
With this post, I encourage you to pause and think about your life. Why should you sacrifice your present happiness and go for more money, more fame, more materials in the first place?
Before resuming your rat-race for more, I suggest you take a moment and see if you have one or more of the following subtle signs that may destroy the beauty of your life. Sit quietly in a room and think. Because when you think about your actions, you begin your journey towards betterment.
Talk about Money Instead of Ideas
You must figure out how much money is necessary to avoid your future risks and live your family with peace and harmony. Know the number and then work on it. But don’t ever believe that money can make all your problems disappear. Of course, not. Money can help you make difficult situations comparatively easier. Not more than that.
But if you talk about money all the time, you are narrowing your thoughts and missing other things around you. You are creating a bubble where you only care about numbers. It’s a sign that you are making yourself unhappy.
Don’t you see that even people with good money don’t always talk about it? They talk about new ideas, innovation, books, and all. If you don’t believe me, observe people like Bill Gates, Elon Musk, or Warren Buffett. Do they talk about money all the time?
Life becomes more meaningful when you connect yourself to the thoughts of the thinkers who worked for greater humanity. When you start discussing their ideas and actions, you gradually develop your consciousness and become more aware of the world you live in.
What you can do
Leave your money-talks aside and start exploring the world of ideas, thoughts, and philosophies. Spend time with good books, music, and movies, talk about them with friends and family. Share your learnings with your business partners or colleagues. Make a new world where money matters the least.
Ignore Health for the Sake of Career Growth
It happens many a time in our life. To ensure our career growth, we leave everything else aside — even our own health.
We spend night after night working for our next career goals or complete the projects. We prepare ourselves to stand out from everyone else and secure our position in the job or business. But we hardly realize that in the process, we develop insomnia. Our physical and mental health deteriorate day by day.
A few years ago, while I was working on my desk, I got the news that one of our colleagues just died in an accident and I need to circulate an email to the other colleagues about that. While checking his personal files for some information, I saw many educational and professional certificates there. The achievements were there, but the man was gone. At that very time, I realized that how insignificant our accomplishments are.
No matter how many promotions you get or how many conferences you attend a year. If you are in bad health, everything will seem futile. That’s the god honest truth.
Even a little discomfort in your health can set everything upside down. So, if you are sacrificing your health for some future achievement, I suggest you think once again about the opportunity cost.
What you can do
Balance your work in a way that you get adequate rest to restore your energy. Never compromise your health (both physical and mental) for the sake of an enticing paycheck or future benefits.
Wait for Opportunities Without Taking Actions
Are you a ‘one-day’ person? Do you believe that one day your life would get better out of a miracle? Are you waiting for an opportunity to thrive yourself?
I must tell you opportunities don’t come if you remain idle with your thoughts without taking any actions. It’s a sign that you are ruining your life. Nobody learns to swim without diving into the water. If you need an opportunity to get momentum, why not start working on what you want to do.
Idowu Koyenikan says in his book Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability, Opportunity does not waste time with those who are unprepared.
Work smartly to be prepared, and you will get the opportunity along your way. It may take a while, but when you are working on something with all your dedication, you must win in the end.
On the contrary, if you remain indifferent and wish for some good opportunities, most likely they will never come, or you will fail to recognize them.
What you can do
If you want to write a book, get a good job, or even start a business, start working right away. Great ideas, thoughts, and opportunities will visit along the way. Do not wait for them to come in the first place.
Devalue Your Relationships with Friends and Family
Most people do not realize the value of relationships with friends and family. They take them for granted and seem indifferent. Then one day, they find themselves alone without any bonds of love and affection.
If you are so busy with works that you hardly make calls to your friends and spend time with your family, then, undoubtedly, you are playing it wrong. You are destroying your beauty of life by making you an alien to your near ones.
A good relationship is invaluable. You cannot buy it. Developing it takes constant love, affection, and loyalty — and of course, it takes time and deliberate effort. If you leave it unloved, it will go away.
Remember, business relationships can never replace your friends and family — no matter how promising they seem to you. Devaluing your friends and family is a crime. If you do that, most likely, you will end up being a lonely person.
What you can do
Call your friends at least once a week. If possible, visit their places with your family and have fun together on the weekend. Play with your children. Give them the time they deserve. And never break a commitment with them. If it happens anyway, apologize and say sorry.
Always Think about the Future
It is the most ignored one. You think you are sacrificing your present happiness to have some future benefits. So you are too busy with work and progress-graph. And you work so hard that when you leave for work you see your children sleeping and when you return late at night you see the same.
You console yourself by saying that you are earning for your family and securing your children’s future. But haven’t you ever thought that you are ruining your and your children’s life?
Your children need you more than your money. If you want them to have a happy life, spend time with them, give them some memories to cherish.
Do not overthink about the future. Instead, enjoy the present moment with your family. Otherwise, one day you will find that your children are young and you have enough for their education in bank accounts, but sadly, you hardly know your children anymore.
What you can do
Enjoying the present is no tough job. Every day, keep only one hour for yourself. In that time, do what you love the most — you may write a story or journal, draw a picture, listen to some music you love, talk to an old friend, take a walk and connect with nature. On the weekends, go to a park with your family or visit some places your kids love.
Don’t forget to enjoy the present moment. Remember, no one can live in the future. So the present moments are all we have right now.
We cannot rewind our life and undo the wrongs we have done. It’s always wise to slow things down and think about what we are doing with our life. Are we destroying it or building it brick by brick with love and care?
Live a balanced life — talk about ideas, take care of your health, value your relationships with your friends and family, grab the opportunity in front of you, and finally, be happy in the present moment without remaining in constant fear of the future.
Have a beautiful life.
CONTRIBUTED BY S M Mamunur Rahman