One big mistake women make with men
Have you ever said any of the following things to a man?
“Honey, did you remember your wallet?”
“Don’t forget to pick up the dry cleaning on the way home.”
“Did you remember to pay that overdue electric bill?”
“Do you realize the gas tank is almost on empty?”
“You didn’t remember to make reservations? Never mind, I will call for you.”
“How many times do I have to remind you not to leave those wet towels on the floor?”
“Don’t you think you are going to be cold with that light jacket on?”
If you are like me, you are cringing with guilt after reading this list. This mistake is one of the most common and destructive habits we have with men. We treat men like children; we assume they can’t take care of themselves; we act as if they are incompetent, and that they need us to run their lives for them.
Now, I know what you are thinking – that in many cases, these assumptions are true! And you may be right. But that is not the point. What is important is this:
WHEN YOU TREAT A MAN LIKE A LITTLE BOY HE IS GOING TO ACT LIKE A LITTLE BOY. WHEN YOU EXPECT A MAN TO BE INCOMPETENT, HE REMAINS INCOMPETENT
WAYS WOMEN ACT LIKE MOTHERS AND TREAT MEN LIKE CHILDREN
1. Acting overly helpful by doing things for men that they should be doing for themselves.
We look for his keys; pick up after him; go in the other room to get him something he can easily find himself; straighten his tie; comb his hair; choose his clothes for him in the morning and lay them out on the bed.
2. Playing verbal guessing games with men, trying to pull information out of them.
We say, “Okay,”you’re hungry … are you in the mood for cereal? No?Okay, then what about some nice soup? Not appealing. Hmm, let me think … I know … what if I make you a grilled cheese sandwich? Wouldn’t you like that?”
3. Assuming men will be absentminded or forgetful, and reminding them of information they should remember by themselves.
“Don’t forget to call me when you get there.”
“Don’t forget to pick up Susie at her dance class.”
“Don’t forget that it’s trash night and the cans need to go out.”
“Don’t forget your doctor’s appointment after work.”
4. Scolding them as if they were children.
“Where do you think you are going without a jacket? Don’t you know how cold it is outside”
“How many times do I have to tell you to turn the lights off before coming to bed. Our electric bill is outrageously high.”
5. Taking charge of activities that you assume they can’t do right.
“If I let Fred make our dinner reservations, he somehow gets the time wrong, and forgets to request a good table, so I just do it myself.”
“The last time I sent Steven clothes shopping with the kids, it was a disaster – they came home with stuff they could never wear to school. Now I just take them myself. I couldn’t stand to go through that again.”
“I asked Jason to find us a nice hotel in Chicago months ago, and wouldn’t you know that it slipped his mind.’ Now our trip is three weeks away and I am the one who ends u making the phone calls anyway. I should have just done it myself in the first place.”
6. Correcting and directing them.
“No, honey, the couple we met on vacation was from Virginia, not west Virginia.”
“The way you just used that word in a sentence was incorrect, dear.”
“I think if you take Route 41 to the expressway, we’ll avoid the traffic on Grant Avenue. In fact, I’d get in the left lane now if I were you.”
“Why don’t you just call your mother up, and first mention how busy you are this week and the office. After she starts to feel concerned, then let her know that we’ve decided not to come to visit next Sunday. But whatever you do, don’t tell her we saw my mother last weekend. ”
Contributed by Barbara DeAngelis. Ph.D
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